www.griefcase.net - Reminder

Be sure to visit http://www.griefcase.net/, my new website dedicated to individuals going through the grief process.

Griefcase welcomes your comments, your suggestions, and your questions.

Feel free to click the Forum tab and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

:)L

What is YOUR Favorite Memory?

As Barbra Streishand sings, "Memories light the corners of my mind..."

Often a widow will write me saying me how much she misses her husband.

Recently I answered a widow's email and asked if she wouldn't mind sharing just one happy memory about her husband.

I asked three questions.

This is what this loving widow wrote back to me:

I'm certain you have many happy memories of your late husband, can you share a favorite? Do you have one?

Just one? That is tough. I have many many many of them. Really tough.

This one may sum up a lot of what we had. We used to live in Boston and my favorite memory there was on the fourth of July when we both had to work and we got off at 7:30 pm. Well, Jim told me to meet him at a certain street corner and when I got there he was there with a horse, carriage and driver that he had rented. We sat in the back of the carriage and were driven around and got to see the fireworks of Boston from the carriage. It was incredibly romantic. He knew I would enjoy it. We got to laugh, cuddle and go Ohhh and Ahhhh to the sparkles in the night. And it was just the kind of thing that Jim would do.

Some of the happiest - most contented times were when it was just the two of us and we were in the truck driving somewhere. We would have the radio on and be in tune with each other. We would be discussing our future, talking about the past and wondering what was to come next and how to deal with it.

I loved taking long road trips. We would drive a couple hours, see something/go somewhere and then have something to eat and drive back home. All this giving us time to be with each other. One weekend we went to Gettysburg. Not to see the historical sights, but rather to hang out at a hotel - just get away from home - and shop at the outlet stores and go to a movie and just be with each other. Usually on sundays we made the day trips. Once it was up to Harrisburg to visit my mothers grave and then hop over to visit my grandparents graves. It wasn't so much the grave visiting as it was the drive.

We were always perfectly happy with just the two of us. It makes there being only one so much harder.

If you could put into one word, one sentence, how would you describe your relationship to your husband?

Connected.

Everyone probably says 'soulmate' and such. Well Jim and I were friends, lovers, soulmates and we were each others protectors - guarding our backs from the outside world and also helping each other get thru some tough times of day to day life. We have no children so we had time for each other. We were connected to each other.

What have you learned about yourself, life, your friends, your family since the death of your husband?

Life sucks without the person you loved at your side. That is my lonliness speaking. My friends and my family have helped me in many ways that I didn't think they would. Coming forward to help me and offer me assistance. There are people I had never expected that have given me support and others that I thought would be close that aren't.

Jim's family has just basically dropped off the earth. No calls for the last 6 months from any of them. I didn't expect that. They were always close to us.

I have also found that there are many things that Jim did, that I learned how to do via osmosis or something like that. How to fix things I guess I mean.

I believe Jim is with you still, Betsy, and he will continue to be.

Thank you for writing. Thank you for your beautiful words.

If you have a favorite memory you care to share, please send it to me. I will post it here for all the world to see and honor His memory especially for you.

Wishing everyone out there in cyberspace mourning joy....and remember, we're not alone.

:)L

Detective Christopher Ridley

"We are still in a lot of pain and we will be for a time to come." --David Chong, Mount Vernon Police Commissioner.

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Joy to you and me.

Today we honor famous Detective Christoper Ridley, 23, badge number 2174.

Detective Ridley is the young officer recently gunned down, tragically, January 25, 2008, while trying to arrest Anthony Jacobs, a man who beat a 58 year old Bronx man.

Detective Christopher Ridley is remembered with the United States flag of Honor.

The flag of Honor is flown around the world honoring men and women who died in the line of duty.

It arrived at JFK on Mnday having spent time in Miami honoring another fallen hero, Detective James Walker, killed in January, and will fly in Mount Vernon, Detective Ridley's home town.

Said Lt. Roy Hastings, "With this flag, Chris will receive national recognition. He will never be forgotten by (the police department) or his family--and now the country."

Griefcase agrees.

To the Mount Vernon Police Depatment, friends, and every member of Detective Christopher Ridley's family, Griefcase extends sincerest condolences, profound gratitude, and wishes for mourning joy all the days ofyour lives.


Mourning Joy:

Q: What made the elephant leave the circus?

A: It was fed up with working for peanuts.

Mourning Quote:

I like living - I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all, I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. --Agatha Christie

After we remember Him, open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal.

Set a clock timer for ten minutes.

Fingerhug your pen.

Write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And remember, we're not alone.

:)L

Montserrat, An Island Paradise

Mourning Joy:

Q; What's gray, heavy, and sings jazz?

A: Elephants Gerald

Speaking of elephants, I just finished reading "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen.



Good read.



Just thought I'd share.



Mourning Quote:

Ignorance gives one a large range of probabilities. --George Eliot



Now for more sharing and focus of this entry.



Recently I visited the Island of Montserrat, a British island located in the Virgin Islands, a hop skip jump from Antigua. What a fun plane ride that was.

I sat up front, first seat, right behind the pilot and got to watch that landing.

Like, Wow!


No time to tag photos. Sorry. But as you can see, Montserrat is scenic, tranquil, despite a steaming volcano, and friendly.

If you get the chance, make a visit to Montserrat.

I recommend it.

Oh yeah, and be sure to stop by The Attic., a great little cafe' that serves best you ever ate, quesedillas and homemade coleslaw.

Sara is the cook.

She's great!

As were our hosts, Randy and Nancy R.


Thank you, Nancy and Randy, wherever you are!

More Montserrat

A Friday with Linda Della Donna

Mourning Quote: Alone, alone. Oh! We have been warned about solitary vices. Have solitary pleasures ever been adequately praised? Do many people know they exist? --Jessmyn West
Good Mourning, Everyone!
It's snowing where I live. A blanket of white the color of wool covers the ground. I made a fire in the den. While Izzy lazes round as a button with his favorite toy monkey on a velvet cushion, I tippy-tap a laptop computer and yes, I remember Him. Ahhhh, mourning joy! Lots to do. No time to dawdle.

What is your day like this cold wintry morning?

Got ten minutes?

Good.

Here's the topic:


Solitary Vices.

What are you waiting for?

Set a clock timer for ten minutes.

Fingerhug your pen.

Write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you!

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And remember, we're not alone!

:)L

Glenn G. Martin, Director of Operations, Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library says,

Introducing He Said/She Said, comments from Griefcase Readers:

Hi Linda,

I've always believed that life is not only battling the challenges we face, but creating new challenges for a better life. Often, people are so focused on the difficult challenges of life, they can't break free to create a new challenge for themselves. The struggles weigh them down. When they do create new challenges, the rewards are bountiful.

When you took on the Walk with Karen project (Griefcase as well), you created new challenges for yourself.

Challenges that have positive outcome.

Challenges that overcome the struggles you were dealing with before.

I'm happy that a new person has entered your life.

I'm happy for you.

Challenge yourself....challenge life!

God bless you,

Glenn G Martin
Director of Operations
Woodrow Wilson Presidential Library
www.woodrowwilson.org

The quote and thoughts I wrote you are my own.

Here's some wisdom from President Woodrow Wilson that I also try to live by when faced with life challenges:

"At every crisis in one's life, it is absolute salvation to have some sympathetic friend to whom you can think aloud without restraint or misgiving".

"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow".

"Do not follow people that stand still".

Army Staff Sgt. Jacob M. Thompson

"He could cast for hours on end, even if he didn't catch a fish." -Charlie Thompson, dad



Good Mourning, Everyone!



Joy to you and me.



Today we welcome into the club nobody wants to join, famous dad, Charlie Thompson, father of famous Army Staff Sgt. Jacob M. Thompson from North Mankato, Minn.



Mr. Thompson joined our joy-ous club on August 6, 2007. That was the day Army Staff Sgt. Jacob M. Thompson died for me and you, killed by an explosive in Baqubah, Iraq.



Sgt. Thompson was a two-tour veteran. On his left leg he sported three tattoos--three helmets, each with the name of a friend who had been killed during the war. He earned a Purple Heart but gave the medal to a friend who had received more serious injuries but hadn't been chosen for the award.



Besides dad, Charlie Thompson, Jacob leaves his aunt Wanda Berry, and his mother, Barb.

From Griefcase to every member of the Thompson family, sincerest condolences, profound gratitude, and wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.


Mourning Joy:

Q: What did King Kong say to the Empire State Building?

A: Mommy.

Mourning Quote:

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men--that is genius. --Ralph Waldo Emerson



After we remember Him, do what I do. Fiingerhug your pen.



Open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal, set a clock timer for ten minutes, and write something.



Go ahead.



I dare you.



Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And remember, we're not alone.



:)L

http://www.griefcase.net/

Marine Sgt. Michael E. Tayaotao

"He's a great man, that's all I can say. He's a straightforward and brave man. He did what he can for his counry, for his people." --Felix Tayaotao, uncle

Good Mourning Everyone!

Joy to you and me.

Today we welcome famous sister of famous Marine Sgt. Michael E. Tayaotao, Leah Tayaotao, from Sunnyvale, California, to our joy-ous club.

On August 9, 2007, Marine Sgt. Michael E. Tayaotao made the Supreme Sacrifice. He gave his life for you and me. It happened during combat operations in Anbar province, Iraq, and it was Sgt. Tayaotao's third tour.

Said Leah upon hearing the news, "No one would know what he was laughing about, but that didn't matter, as long as he was laughing." Adding, "Even if it was something serious, he could bring the light out of it."

When not fighting for Our Country, favorite things Marine Sgt. Michael E. Tayaotao liked to do was to spend time fishing or sitting on the dock having a picnic at San Diego County's Lake Poway, Leah reported.

In addition to his sister, Leah, Sgt. Tayaotao leaves his mother and father, Mario and Heidi.

To Leah, Mario and Heidi, and every member of the Tayaotao fammily, Griefcase extends sincerest condolences, profound gratitude, and wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.

Today's Mourning Joy, lovingly borrowed from Beth Emeth REPORTER:

"Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish."

Mourning Quote:

...You raise me up to more than I can be...--a song sung by Josh Groban

After we remember Him, do what I do. Fingerhug your pen. Set a clock timer for ten minutes, open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal, and write something--perhaps a letter to Him, perhaps a memory, even if it's a grocery list of things to do, do it.

Go ahead. Write something. I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And, remember--we're not alone.

:)L

The Dalai Lama on Goodness

Food for thought:

For me, human beings' ability to smile is one of our most beautiful characteristics.

* * *

If nothing can change the situation, worrying only makes it worse.

****

Peace in the world depends on peace in the hearts of individuals.

****

When we make mistakes, we cannot turn the clock back and try again. All we can do is use the present well.

****

As the Tibetan expression has it, even if the rope breaks nine times, we must splice it back together a tenth time. In this way, even if ultimately we do fail, at least there will be no feelings of regret.

****

Treat everyone as if they were a close friend.

Natalie Goldberg Secret Writing Loop

Dear Linda,

We are still in the process of revising the loops and have made the decision that they will no longer be open writing venues where people can come in and out-- or go back and forth-- between topicloop/shutupandwrite/writingloop.

Thank you for your participation in these loops in the past. We wish you the very best in your life and in your writing.

Respectfully,

Pam for the Adminnies

adminnies@gmail.com

Linda Della Donna - About Me...at Jewel's Sand Box

Just follow the link.


http://jewelsamples.blogspot.com/2007/09/freelance-writer-linda-della-donnas.html

Happy Friday!

I'm writing this from my new office location, the one in Connecticut, facing the Long Island Sound, space donated to Griefcase to do the Griefcase thing.

Life sure is exciting and I'm here to tell you, it gets better each day.

A pot of meatballs and red gravy bubbles in a pot on a stove in the kitchen; a cranky dog snores at my feet, a black and white kitty purrs softly in an upstairs bedroom.

Ahhhh, my mourning joy!

It is more than 3 years since I buried Ed.

More than 3 years since I said the words, "I'll never fall in love, again."

Since burying Ed Sclier, I've learned never to say the "n" word, again.

On this gray rainy day in February, my fingers tip-tapping a laptop computer at a wooden desk opposite a view of the Long Island Shore, I'm proof lightning can and does strike again!

He's older than me, by 9 years.

He's born and raised in the state of Connecticut.

He's huggable, lovable, adorable, wonderful.

And He loves me back!

I'm in love with this man. His name is Bob. I call him Robert.

Tonight is Date Night. Date Night is our catching a movie, my pick. After that, a stop at a local cafe, a diner, a pub, or some out-of-the-way, fun-filled place where we sit and cuddle.

Can't stay on. I need to turn down the dial under the burner of that pot of meatballs swimming in red gravy, comb my hair, then throw a log on the fire.

Robert will be home soon!

Have a wonderful weekend, Everyone. Thanks for the visit. You have permission to stop by www.griefcase.net and see what it is I've been up to these past three plus years, and what it is I've become all about.

:)L