Griefcase

The Last Time I saw Hunter

2011-05-06T11:45:00.000-04:00

"There's nothing worse than being cornered by a writer at a party and listening to him drone on, with every other sentence beginning As I say in my book."--Betsy Lerner

There are days I have no idea what to write about in my blog. Today is one of those days. If I write about myself, I worry I become the self-absorbed character Betsy Lerner describes in the quote above, a character fault I do not want to possess, nor promote in myself or that of another writer. But, to be fair, in order to be a good marketing writer, blowing one's own horn is essential and a common thread we all weave.

For that reason, today I share the story of Hunter--Hunter is my grandson. He is 2 years old. Once a week, sometimes twice a week, I get to spend time with that little guy. The last time I saw Hunter, this is what we did:


This is Hunter preparing his lunch specialty-- mini pizzas

All pizza needs just the right amount of mozzarella cheese.

Pizzas in the oven, Hunter waves a magic hand and keeps a watchful eye.

Shhhh. Hunter took a peek at the pizzas. I have no idea why.

Pizza. Done!

Spending time with grandson, Hunter, teaching him how to make mini pizzas, sharing moments of marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese is like writing. I take it slow. I focus. I am in the moment. Everything is done one step at a time.

Writing Quote (Words of Inspiration):

"Nothing happens unless first a dream."--Carl Sandburg

Writing Tip:

"...Submitting your work fifty times or revising it as many times as you have to may be what separates the sung from the unsung."--Betsy Lerner

Thanks for reading. Now, go write something.

See you in print,

Linda Della Donna

P. S. Be sure to stop by griefcase and read my other blog.

BookOrBust - Fulfilling a Promise

2010-10-01T07:25:00.006-04:00

Psssssssst!

Yes, YOU! Griefcase is moved.

And

I'm writing a new blog. It's over at BookOrBust and fulfilling a promise to Ed to write a book.

Check it out.

:)

Happy Birthday Ed Sclier

2010-08-23T13:45:00.000-04:00

"...And sometime when I wasn't looking, I got a different life." --Linda Della Donna-Sclier

Today is my husband's birthday.

Had Ed Sclier lived. he would have turned age 71 today.

Ahhh, sweet memories.

All day I thought about Ed. The love we shared, the good times, the bad times, the funny in-between moments that filled our dreams with laughter and joy--all the things that made our daily lives.

It is six years since we kissed our last kiss. And a lot has happened in those years. A lot has not. Sorry, you'll just have to wait for the book.

Today was the day, minute to minute, I remembered the ordinary man who loved an ordinary woman in an extraordinary way. *wiping tear from eye*

And I'm just here to say, sure as tigers got tales, I believe Ed's some place special.

Here's to birthday wishes, buffalo cloud kisses, sky-sized hugs and whatever it is the dead do when celebrating an earth day event.

Happy Birthday, Edward Sclier, where ever you are!

xxoo:)L

Griefcase.net

2010-01-10T18:07:00.003-05:00

I've moved to Griefcase.net

U.S. Marine Charles "Charley" Rochlin - 1985 -2009

2010-01-01T22:22:00.003-05:00

I had a chance to thank him for his service to this country and congratulate him and toast him for being one of The Few and The Proud. --John Kondub

United States Marine Lance Corporal Charles Rochlin
September 14, 1985 - December 27, 2009

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today we welcome into the club nobody wants to join, family and friends of United States Marine Lance Corporal Charles Rochlin from Westport, Connecticut.

Rochlin had been home on leave having completed a seven-month tour of duty in Iraq. He was preparing for a deployment to Afghanistan when he was suddenly killed, the result of an auto accident. Born in Westport, Connecticut and a graduate of Staples High, after attending Norwalk Community College and the University of Colorado, in March 2008, he enlisted in the U. S. Marine Corps. He was 24 years old.

To every member of US Marine Lance Corporal Charles Rochlin's family, Griefcase extends profound gratitude, sincerest condolences, and best wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.

Semper Fi!

Mourning Poem:

When the song of the angels is stilled
When the star in the sky is gone
When the kings and the princes are home
When the shepherds are back with their
flock

The work of Christmas begins:

To find the lost
too heal the broken
to feed the hungry
To release the prisoner
To rebuild the nations
To bring peace among all
To make music in the heart

Mourning Joy:

Q: What do you get when King Kong steps on a glacier?

A: Crushed ice.

-----------

Q: What is the difference between the law and an ice cube?

A: One is justice and the other is just ice!

After we remember Him, do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal, and write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And always remember, we're not alone.

xxoo:)L

Goodbye 2009!

2009-12-31T11:44:00.005-05:00

Goodbye 2009!

It's the end of another year.

Time to make resolutions; time to set new goals.

Time for a widow, or anyone mourning the loss of a loved one, to make a new plan.

Today, I'm taking time to write my goals out. The one goal that rockets to the top of my goal list is the haunting promise to write my book.

And then I got another goal. That one is to get a synopsis and a proposal letter written for another book I'm working on, some tiny little keepsake thing written especially for widows, something cute and cozy for a widow to tote around with her, tuck neatly in her purse or coat pocket like a good luck charm, maybe something she can set nicely on her nightstand at the end of a long horrible ugly miserable day when she feels she just can't take it anymore without her husband to throw his arms around her and tell her everything will be okay, something with words of encouragement and comfort typed neatly in it to send the universal message, We're not alone.

After that, well, I plan to get up each morning and breathe.

Every widow needs a goal.

What are your goals for 2010?

Why not grab a fast writing pen, open what I lovingly refer to as a JOY-nal, and write them down.

Then tear the sheet out your JOY-nal and tape it to your bathroom mirror to act as your gentle reminder every day in 2010 to do it. Just do it.

Go ahead. I dare you.

This is Linda Della Donna signing off for 2009 and sending every widowed woman on this planet my warmest mourning joy wishes for a Happy New Year. Thank you for supporting me at Griefcase another year.

:)L

Getting Through the Grief Process - 5 Tips

2009-12-31T06:13:00.003-05:00

Good Mourning, Widows!

Welcome to the club nobody wants to join.

It's a new day and I'm starting it off with one of my free ezine articles.

Getting Through the Grief Process - For Widows Only - 5 Tips to Get You Through

If you get the chance, I'd just love it if you'd click and read.

Until we e-meet again, why not do what I do.

Open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal, set a clock timer for ten minutes, and write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone! And, always remember, we're not alone.

:)L

Lest we never forget...

2009-12-27T13:13:00.002-05:00

As 2009 comes to an end, and 2010 looms brightly on the horizon, I'm taking time out to honor the memory of Edward Louis Sclier.

How about you? What about your loved one? What will you do to honor His memory before the New Year?

Why not do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a JOY-nal, set a clock timer for ten minutes, and write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

*tying string around my finger* May we never forget, and may we always remember.

Mourning Quote:

"Don't be afraid your life will end. Be afraid that it will never begin." --Grace Hansen

Mourning Joy:

Q: What's round, has teeth, and bites?

A: A vicious circle.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And just remember, always, we're not alone.

Linda Della Donna
...And sometime when I wasn't looking, I got a new life.

Please know, that I welcome your comments. Feel free to send for my free ebook, Treasury of Quotations. Just drop me a line at my name, the at sign, 7th letter of the alphabet with a dotcom at the end.

Griefcase Greetings

2009-12-24T11:43:00.004-05:00

Mourning Joy

December 23, 2009 - Griefcase Greetings

2009-12-23T14:47:00.003-05:00

"One of the great things about being a writer is that you can make dead people come alive again."--Anna Quindlen

I've been busy working hard at fulfilling my promise to my late husband to write a book. I'm doing better than that, I'm working hard at writing two books. One is a big book, well, not so big, but that one's a memoir about the life and times spent with the best friend a girl ever had. The other book is a different book and for widows only, some little book giving words of encouragement, reminding us all that we're not alone, because when you're a widow, life is different, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm muddling through the process, applying the grief steps to writing, making it through one baby step, er, word, at a time.

I'm putting away my writing stuff for the next few days--Got gifts to wrap, pies to bake, and a tree to decorate. But, before I do, I'm stopping by to extend a joyous holiday greeting to Griefcase readers and thank you one and all for supporting Griefcase in 2009.

I've lit a candle for Edward Louis Sclier, I share it here with you and yours, and on behalf of Griefcase, post a holiday greeting especially for you.

Happy Holidays and a Joyous 2010.

The Good Grief Newsletter - Sample Copy

2009-12-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

Coming soon:

The Good Grief Newsletter

Words of mourning joy to speed us on our merry way and help us through one more day--without our loved one by our side
December 17, 2009

Expect the Unexpected

It's a new day. And even though it's *hand over mouth* years since you buried your loved one, you, dear widow, are feeling sad.

It's okay. And to be expected.

Because the Holidays are here and it's the perfect trigger to set us off missing the one we love.

So be prepared, carry a tissue, and don't be afraid to let the tears out.

After that, go get a manicure. Glitter them in crimson and gold. And celebrate!

You can, and you will get through.

Then do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal, set a clocker timer for ten minutes, and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Recommended Reading:

Natalie Goldberg's, "Writing Down the Bones"

If you're looking to get started writing down the memories of your loved one, and you have no idea how or where to start, this is the book for you.

Alex the Parrot 1976 - 2007

2009-12-13T14:37:00.003-05:00

"See you tomorrow. Be good. I love you."
--Alex the Parrot

He could count.

He could tell you what he wanted to eat.

He could put a smile on the face of anyone who met him.

Who was this? And why was he so extraordinary?

His name was Alex, short for Avian Learning Experiment, and he was a bird, an African Grey Parrot.

Purchased by animal psychologist, Irene Pepperberg, from an ordinary pet store when he was about one year old, Alex grew to become the world's most beloved bird. The subject of a 30-year experiment, Alex communicated his feelings, identified objects, and counted.

Alex was and will be remembered for his genius and intelligent use of the English language.

Today, Griefcase remembers Alex, and welcomes into the club nobody wants to join, Us...because everyone out here in cyberland was saddened by his death.

Hugs to Dr. Pepperberg and her amazing staff.

Mourning Quote:

"Say thank you to the people who teach you, support you, encourage you, and get you a cup of coffee."--Monica Sheehan

Mourning Joy:

Q: What's suntanned, quacks, and runs his country single-handed?

A: A South American duct-tator

After we remember Him, why not do what I do.

Set a clock timer for ten.

Pick up a fastest writing pen.

Open what I lovingly refer to as a JOY-nal...

And write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, All. And remember this, we're not alone.

Janet Elaine Smith--Interview coming soon...

2009-12-13T13:58:00.000-05:00

Recently I emailed best-selling author, Janet Elaine Smith and requested an interview. Janet responded in kind with the following. I share it with you today as introduction for what is yet to come and to give insight to this marvelous author who just happens to be a widow...Or is it the other way around? Anyway, with Janet's permission and for your reading pleasure is her email to me.

...I'm off to make some yummy cranberry bar cookies, then snickerdoodles, then to organ/piano practice this afternoon and then a gal coming over to visit for a while. In between there someplace I have to finish up two magazine articles (both which involve some phone interviews).

Would you like a sneak peek at what I am doing for Christmas eve?

Our little church has a sort of talent show/cookie snack program. Two ladies who are also alone are going to come over here for oyster stew (I have a super good recipe if you want it). Ivan and I always had oyster stew for Christmas eve supper. The kids wouldn't touch it, so they had pizza. Never did any of us mix the two! LOL! We also had oyster stew at home on Christmas eve when I was growing up.

Anyway, for my talent part, I am going to tell about my Grandma Hallett (my dad's mom) and how she had a beautiful voice, but she seldom sang. But on Christmas she always sang Silent Night in German. (Her mom was German and her dad Swiss.) Then I'm going to play and sing the first verse in German. Then I will tell about my mom's music box that she got from her dad (Grandpa Snitzelbaum--long story about that name), and I will play a piano rendition like it was on her music box. Then I will tell about Silent Night in Venezuela and at the Mexican-American Christmas parties we always had for the kids in Grand Forks, and then I will sing the first verse in Spanish. Then I will play my own piano arrangement, a la Roger Williams style. LOL!

So, what do you think?
Janet

Well, Janet, I think you're one super lady who lends hope and inspiration to all us widows feeling a bit lonely wondering how we're going to get through the holidays without Him by our side.

Thanks for the email. Look forward to our interview--coming soon.

:)L

Who We Are -- Meet Jill Plummer

2009-12-07T06:01:00.002-05:00

As every reader here at Griefcase knows, mourning the death of a spouse is not for cissies. It is a solo journey each one of us must make, and a painful one. In a perfect world, a map and compass would be provided to help us through. But as we all know, this is not a perfect world.

Each one of us is special. Each one of us has a story. Each one of us wants her husband back. By sharing our stories, we gain strength, renew confidence, and send the glowing message to widows throughout the world that we're not alone.

This is Jill's story. These are Jill's words.

Thank you, Jill, for being here.

And profound condolences on the death of your husband.

Meet Jill Plummer.

Griefcase: Jill, what can you share with readers about yourself?

Jill: I live in a suburb just out of Sydney, Australia, in an upstairs apartment, which is on one of the main roads out of Sydney, so it is quite busy outside my window. I work five days a week for a pathology company, typing medical reports. (It) keeps me busy. I am 58 years old (sometimes I feel a whole lot older).

My favourite hobby is travelling, followed closely by photography.

No pets in my life as I don't have the room where I live and as I am not here during the day, it wouldn't be fair on them. No family to speak of. Just me.

Griefcase: How long are you a widow? What about your husband, what can you tell us about him?

Jill: I have been a widow for 28 months and 6 days (but whose counting?).

I met my wonderful husband, Bob, in 1994.

It was a second time around for both of us. He always used to tell me that he had waited 50 years for me. We met at a country music show. He was there to watch the band as I was.

We used to see each other at the shows, which used to be once a week. We just used to say hi and joke between ourselves never thinking anything of it. Then one night the woman who had driven me to the show had to leave and told me she would organise a lift home for me. Guess who she asked? You guessed it. Bob, of course. She didn't know, neither did I, that this lift home would be the start of the most wonderful and important relationship of my life. We just clicked. He (Bob) showed me what real love was, always made me feel special. We were never apart from that day.

We were together for 13 years. The best 13 years of my life. I wouldnt have missed it for the world.

Griefcase: Where would you say you are in your grief journey?

Jill: Well, let me see, the first year I found myself on the outside looking in on a world that was very foreign to me. A lot of numbness, and I was just going through the motions. Emotions were like a rollercoaster, tears would flow for no reason. At work, I kept up a brave face and everyone said how well I was coping. Then I decided that I didn't need to do that anymore. If I felt down, then I would let them know it was a bad day. The bad days have spaced out a bit more now. The intense pain has eased a little, it still lies deep in my heart, but I have learnt through reading a lot of books that this is all part of the evil plan that grief has. I have found that if you try to hurry it (grief) up, it just jumps up and says, Hey, slow down.

The second year was worse than the first, I found. I guess it is the realisation that I am alone (which I don't really mind). I miss Bob so much, but I know he is watching out for me.

I went on a world trip earlier this year (10 weeks). It was great and I know Bob would have enjoyed seeing all that I did. While I was away, it was busy and it was an organised trip, but when I came home, the loss really hit home so hard. I found it so hard to get back on an even keel, but one day at a time was the way I did it. I still have bad days, but not as many. Bob lives on in my heart and my memories, and I am thankful for all the good times we had together.

Griefcase: What is the hardest thing you have had to do since burying your husband?

Jill: The hardest thing is just living without him.

All the little things that you take for granted. Like holding hands, hugs, kisses. Even going shopping.

...Realising we are not going to grow old together.

Griefcase: What life's lesson have you learned since becoming a widow?

I have learnt that I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. I can do so many things I never thought I would be able to do. Travelling the world was a major achievment.

Griefcase: Any advice for a woman newly widowed?

Jill: I would say to a new widow, "You are not alone."

The feelings you are having are all part of a process that no one would ever want to go through, but you will get through it. The pain will always be there, but it becomes manageable. If you have a bad day, don't worry about it, let your feelings take you where you need to be.

I always find one day at a time works, if not one day, then one hour at a time is also good. Your own grief will let you know where you should be.

Also remember you are not going mad and that these feelings have to be experienced even though they hurt like hell sometimes. Always remember memories can never be taken away. Your loved one is always around keeping an eye on us.

Griefcase: Any plans for your future? Where do you see yourself one year from today?

Jill: Hmmm, I don't usually think that far ahead, but I want to travel more.

...I think in twelve months time I will be a stronger woman who still misses her man a lot, but is able to deal with all the trials and tribulations that grief is going to throw at me.

Jill Plummer can be found on Facebook. Why not stop by and pay her a visit.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T06:42:00.000-05:00

Dear Readers,

From my heart to your hearts...sincerest best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving.

What I'm thankful for:

I'm thankful for you. Because of you, I write.

:)L

Retired Army Col. Norbert Otto Schmidt

2009-11-25T20:26:00.003-05:00

"My mom's never going to recover from the thought of my dad being dumped in some alleyway someplace." --Carol Schmidt

Just when I think I've heard everything, I hear something that changes my mind.

Today we welcome into the club nobody wants to join, Donna Schmidt, wife of Retired Army Col. Norbert Otto Schmidt.

On August 4, 2009, in Satellite Beach, FL, Donna's husband died. He was 83.

In 1949, Col. Schmidt graduated West Point, he served in the Korean War as a member of the 65th Engineers and received two Purple Hearts and the Bronze Star. Col. Schmidt had a Master's in Civil Engineering from Harvard and a PhD at the Uiversity of Illinois.

Later, he became an engineering professor at the University of Missouri in Rolla.

On November 13, Col. Schmidt was set to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery--But--

Someone broke into the family's rented van parked outside the hotel they were staying at and stole the urn with the Col's ashes in it.

On the long list of ugly, this one rockets to the top.

Family members offer a $1,000 cash reward.

To Donna Schmidt, the entire Schmidt family, Griefcase extends its condolences and wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.

After we honor Him, do what I do--open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal and write something. Go ahead. I dare you.

Mourning Quote:

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." --John Lennon

Mourning Joy:
Q: What is alive and has only 1 foot?

A: A leg

Have a joyful day, and remember, we're not alone.

:)L

Mike Monsoor - 4/5/1981 - 9/29/2006

2009-11-20T11:55:00.005-05:00

Navy Petty Officer, PO2 Petty Officer, Second Class)
EOD2 (Explosive Ordinance Disposal, Second Class)
"MIKE MONSOOR"
April 5th, 1981 ~ September 29th, 2006

Mike Monsoor, was awarded "The Congressional Medal Of Honor" last week for giving his life in Iraq as he jumped on and covered with his body a live hand grenade that was accidentally dropped by a Navy Seal, saving the lives of a large group of Navy Seals that was passing by!

During Mike Monsoor's Funeral, at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery, in San Diego, California, the six pallbearers removed the rosewood casket from the hearse. Lined up on each side of Mike Monsoor's casket, were his family members, friends, fellow sailors, and well-wishers. The column of people continued from the hearse, all the way to the grave site.

What the group didn't know at the time was, every Navy Seal (45 to be exact) that Mike Monsoor saved that day was scattered throughout the column!

As the pallbearers carried the rosewood casket down the column of people to the grave side, the column would collapse, which formed a group of people that followed behind.

Every time the rosewood casket passed a Navy Seal, he would remove his gold Trident Pin from his uniform, and slap it down hard, causing the gold Trident Pin to embed itself to the top of the wooden casket!

Then the Navy Seal would step back from the column, and salute!

Now for those (And Me) who do not know what a Trident Pin is or what it looks like, here is the definition and a photo.

After one completes the Basic Navy Seals Program, which lasts for three weeks, and is followed by Seal Qualification Training, which is 15 more weeks of training necessary to continue improving basic skills and to learn new tactics and techniques required for an assignment to a Navy Seal Platoon.

After successful completion, trainees are given their Naval Enlisted Code, and are awarded The Navy Seal Trident Pin.

With this gold pin they are now officially Navy Seals!

It was said that you could hear each of the 45 slaps from across the cemetery!

By the time the rosewood casket reached the grave site, it looked as though it had a gold inlay from the 45 Trident Pins that lined the top!

Griefcase extends eternal gratitude, sincerest condolences, and best wishes for mourning joy to every member of the Monsoor family.

Mourning Joy:

Something I learned from my son when he was a boy:

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

Mourning Quote:

Anything that you tolerate, stays with you. --Cool J

After we remember Him, do what I do--fingerhug your pen. Open what I lovingly refer to as a Joy-nal, and write something. '

Go ahead.

I dare you!

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone! And just remember, we're not alone.

:)L

Mourning Quote by Christopher Morley

2009-11-08T16:01:00.003-05:00

There is really only one success--to be able to spend your life in your own way.

Twitter and Linda Della Donna

2009-11-05T12:53:00.004-05:00

Hello Everyone,

As you may already know, I'm in the process of writing a book thing. It is to fulfill a promise I made to my late husband, Edward Louis Sclier, the night he died. That was five years ago. It's been a struggle to survive losing my best friend and husband. More than that, it is hard moving forward in my new life with this deep dark secret promise gnawing at me.

So I invite you to follow me on Twitter, I'm there as Linda Della Donna.

I sure could use your encouragement and help in motivating me through the next few months.

It's time to reassure me that we're not alone, and that I'm not out here in cyber space typing into the wind.

Wishing you mourning joy, all the days of your lives,

Linda

As always, wishing you mourning joy all the days of your lives!

Thanks,

Linda

Patrick Swayze - August 18, 1952 - September 14, 2009

2009-11-05T12:14:00.003-05:00

"I keep dreaming of a future with a long and healthy life, a life not lived in the shadow of cancer, but in the light...I dream that the word 'cure' will no longer be followed by the words 'is impossible.'" --Patrick Swayze

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today we honor the memory of Patrick Swayze, famous star of Dirty Dancing, and welcome into the club nobody wants to join, his widow, Lisa Niemi.

Patrick died September 14, 2009 with family by his side.

He leaves wife, Lisa, extended family, celebrities, and celebrated fans to mourn his passing.

He was age 57. He and Lisa were married 34 years.

To Patrick's wife, Lisa Niemi, Griefcase extends deepest sympathies and best wishes for mourning joy all the days of your life.

Mourning Joy:

What is Count Dracula's favorite food?

A necktarine!

Mourning Quote:

"What is there that forgiveness cannot achieve?" --Vidura

After we remember Him, why not write something.

Set a clock-timer for ten, pick up a fast writing pen, open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal and write like the wind.

Go ahead.

I dare you!

And remember, we're not alone.

A Tuesday

2009-11-03T08:42:00.003-05:00

Life changes in an instant. -- Joan Didion

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today is Tuesday, November 3, 2009. Happy Tuesday!

I've posted a photo of Spooky and his latest catch. See how proud Spooky is.

I didn't much used to care for Spooky. I didn't like his big fat tummy. Or, the way he'd strut into a room and growl at me for seemingly no reason at all.

But when I saw what Spooky had done, he caught that mousey, and how proud he was, I dedided it was time to like Spooky. He absolutely earned my respect.

That's called change.

Wouldn't you agree?

I've been through a lot in this life--I miss Ed every day. But I've learned though I can't change Ed being dead, I can sure change the way I feel about his death.

Mourning Joy:

What is Oscar the Grouch called when he has bad posture?

Oscar the Slouch!

Mouning Quote:

And one day when I wasn't looking, I got a new life. Linda Della Donna *I just couldn't resist.*

After we remember Him, why not pick up your pen and write something.

Set a clock timer for ten minutes. Open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal,

and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone! And just remember, we're not alone!

xxoo:)L

Always My Brother--Written by Jean Reagan, with illustrations by Phyllis Pollema-Cahill

2009-11-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

Make room for a new picture book on your child's bookshelf. Always My Brother by Jean Reagan, with illustrations by Phyllis Pollema-Cahill.

Always My Brother is the poignant story of a young girl mourning the loss of her brother.

As the story unfolds, we see Becky playing a game of soccer with her brother, John, joined by their pet dog, Toby. They skip and they laugh. They love life and each other. It is a moment captured magically in soft language by Jean Reagan with delicate illustrations by Phyllis Pollema-Cahill.

We soon learn about Becky and how changed her life is after the death of her beloved brother, John. No longer is John here to cheer her up in difficult times, or help her out with soccer practice. She is left to miss her brother and work through her grief, alone. When Becky returns to school, we feel her pain--Becky is uncomfortable facing friends, has difficulty playing a favorite game, and feels guilty for laughing at a friend's birthday party. She wants everything to be the way it was before her brother's death.

Time inches forward, seasons change, and so does Becky. Dressed in bathrobe, gazing out a window one wintry day, she stands alongside her mother and announces, "One morning, watching Toby roll in the snow, I actually laughed out loud."

Through Always My Brother a young reader learns the valuable lesson that there is life after death, as well as joy and laughter, and that it is okay to remember a dead loved one. It is a lump-in-your-throat book that will tug at your heartstrings and leave you feeling glad all over long after you have returned it to its place on your bookshelf.

Always My Brother available at Amazon (Hardcover - May 2009) $13.22.

The following is the book tour schedule for "Always My Brother."

Won't you please follow this wonderful book as it makes the rounds on its internet journey.

Also, if you enjoyed reading my review, or just wish to say, "Hi," I would appreciate it if you would leave a comment.If you do, you just might win a prize.

How about it?

Thanks.

And Heeeeeeeeeere's the schedule!:

Nov. 1 — Welcome from Tilbury House
Nov. 2 — Griefcase
Nov. 3 — Author Jean Reagan's
Nov. 4 — Healing the Grieving Heart
Nov. 5 — Grief Speaks
Nov. 6 — Chronicles of an Infant Bibliophile
Nov. 7 — heartfeltwords4kids
Nov. 8 — I Did Not Know What to Say
Nov. 9 — Moziesme
Nov. 10 — Anastasia Suen
Nov. 11 – Maw Books
Nov. 12 — Author Emily Wing Smith
Nov. 13 — Bri Meets Books

Just to let you know--

7 lucky winners from all of those who leave comments on participating tour posts (Nov.1-13) are eligible to win one of the following prizes:

- A copy of Always My Brother signed by author Jean Reagan (5 available)*
- A set of 10 winter notecards with art by illustrator Phyllis Pollema-Cahill (2 available)

* Winners are welcome to designate a grief center, school, or library to receive their signed copy in their place.

All winners will be announced after the tour. US/Canada addresses only, please.

Twitter Prize

Everyone that tweets about the tour using the hashtag #AlwaysTour from November 1-13 will be entered to win a set of three children's books from Tilbury House — your choice! Winners will be announced after the tour, US/Canada addresses only, please.

For More Information :

Tilbury House, Publishers: http://tilburyhouse.com/childrens/always-my-brother.htm
Teachers Take Note (educational resources) for Always My Brother: http://tilburyhouse.com/childrens/always-my-brother-teachers-take-note.htm
The story behind Always My Brother: http://jeanreagan.com/story_behind.htm
Phyllis Pollema-Cahill's illustration process: http://www.phylliscahill.com/alwaysstepbystep/alwaysstepbystep.html

Be Happy!

2009-11-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

"Survivors look back and see omens, messages they missed." --Joan Didion

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today is the start of a new week.

My new week.

I plan to spend some time writing, perhaps scribble a draft of a new chapter in the book I am writing.

I like to read. I plan to crack the spine of one I just purchased.

I like my home office. The floor is a carpet of notebooks, old journals, newspapers, and bits and pieces of paper napkins with more scribbles. I am forever organizing, reorganizing, filing, and refiling. I plan to do some of that, also.

After, perhaps before, I plan a slow walk, a time to simply smell the roses, feel the crackle of autumn leaves under the soles of my bare feet!

What about you?

How will you spend your day?

Mourning Quote:

"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'Check enclosed.'"

Mourning Joy:

What do you get when you cross a tape measure with a steam roller?

Flat feet.

After we remember Him, do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a Joy-nal and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And just remember, we're not alone.

A Sunday

2009-11-01T10:44:00.003-05:00

Coming again to life was a hard but good thing. Life was in front of me now; the glove had been thrown down. I could not back away from the world; my temperment and my curiosity about what lay ahead made certain of this. Life had to be taken up again: the ribbons, woven flat against the Maypole, had to be unwound.

--Kay Redfield Jamison

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Today is a Sunday. It is New Grandson's First Birthday.

There is little time to post. I'm late for the bakery to pick up a first birthday cake, late for the gathering planned at a distant location. My son and his wife, I call her "Daughter," are looking forward to seeing me. What joy!

Just stopping by to show you Grandson's Halloween picture--He's a monkey!

Mourning Quote:

"...Awareness is learning to keep yourself company." --Geneen Roth

Mourning Joy:

Why don't pigs drive cars?

Because they would become road hogs.

After we remember Him, why not pick up a pen and write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

:)L

Have a joy filled day. And always remember, we're not alone.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T13:49:00.002-04:00

...Live simply, be in the moment, build memories, stay close.

--Katrina Kenison

Happy Halloween!

Good mourning, Everyone!

Today is Saturday, October 31, 2009, Halloween, the Trick-Or-Treat day, the get-your-candy-in-the-bag time of the year, and perhaps a get-out-the-house-and-rake-the leaves day.

It's just me stopping by to wish everyone out there in cyber-land missing their loved one a great day whatever your plans may be. And to remind us all that we are not alone.

Mourning Quote:

"Savor the moments that are warm and special and giggly."

Mourning Joy:

Q: What happened to the duck who flew upside down?

A: He quacked up!

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone.

Now do as I often do: Set a clock timer for ten minutes, pick up a pen, then open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal--then write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

:)L

A Friday

2009-10-30T13:27:00.004-04:00

The only trust required is to know that when there is one ending there will be another beginning --Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Good Mourning, Everyone!

It's Friday. A sign that the week is over and whatever has transpired during the course of this week is behind me. Can't get it back, can't change it.

I've posted a picture of a headstone on my blog today. I have no idea why. It's just that it was handy, just that it reminds me of another time, another place in my life--Can't get it back. Can't change it.

I have been busy processing the story of Ed. Working at writing my book and fulfilling my promise.

I'm just stopping by to let you know that this widow still exists, that she's picking up her pen, and writing something.

Why not join me.

Go ahead. Write something. I dare you.

:)L

I dare to write

2009-10-01T21:09:00.003-04:00

"Books are...funny little portable pieces of thought." --Susan Sontag

Good Mourning, Widows!

I'm popping in to let you in on a little secret.

You remember.

The one where I promised Ed I'd write a book.

If you're up to it, and only if you want to, here's the site to check on my progress, and wish me luck:

BOOKORBUST

Aw, come on.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day. And just remember, we're not alone!

:)L
Go

Welcome, Autumn!

2009-09-01T11:00:00.004-04:00

Welcome Widows and anybody else out there mourning the loss of a loved one.

Today is the first day of September 2009. Time to usher in a new month and new season--autumn leaves changing colors, sounds of children's chatter and laughter as they dash off to catch school busses--time to embrace change, time to experience what I lovingly refer to as mourning joy.

Yes, it is sad to see summer end...and, it's joyful, too.

Mourning Advice: Live the new season.

Inhale. Exhale.

Feel the crinkle in your nose as you breathe in crisp morning air;

Dont' be shy. Go ahead. Wave and smile at your neighbor's daughter or son darting out her or his door.

Fill your senses.

Welcome fall!

After that, do what I do. Open that joy-nal, and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

I know it's not easy living life without your loved one by your side, but I'm here to tell you, we're not alone.

You can and you will get through.

If I can do it, so can you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone.

xxoo:)L

Mourning Joy

2009-09-01T10:17:00.000-04:00

What cheers you up when you are sick?

A Get Wellephant card.

Mourning Quote

2009-09-01T10:15:00.000-04:00

"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain." --Unknown

Thomas Occhiogrosso - 1982 - 2009

2009-08-27T06:26:00.000-04:00

"I don't believe what's happened." --Erin Occhiogrosso

Today we welcome into the club nobody wants to join, newly-widowed, Mrs. Erin Occhiogrosso, wife of Thomas Occhiogrosso.

Erin's husband was run down while crossing Hempstead Parkway in Long Island. He was 27 years old and had served 2 tours of duty in Iraq with the U. S. Navy.

Erin is left with their daughter, Cecelia, age 2.

To Erin, daughter, Cecelia, and every member of the Occiogrosso family, Griefcase extends sincere condolences and best wishes for mourning joy all thedays of your lives.

Mourning Quote:

"God Bless Them All." --Taken from a large steel beam recovered at Ground Zero.

Mourning Joy:

Q: How do you make an instant elephant?

A: Open the package, add water, and run!

After we remember Him, do what I do. Set a clock timer for ten, open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal, and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone.

And just remember, we're not alone.

xxoo:)L

Happy Birthday Edward Louis Sclier

2009-08-23T06:00:00.005-04:00

"...What a kicker. We don't have a choice." --Edward Louis Sclier

Today is Ed's birthday. As memories goldened by days gone by fill my brain, I can't help but ask the deafening question: What if?.

It is 5 years, 2 months, 23 days since I buried the best friend a girl ever had. I remember Ed's last birthday here, the one we shared before his death. We had no idea he was so ill. But that hot humid evening in 2003 when Ed stepped through the front door from his long day at the office, I recall vividly the twinkle in his eyes and the blush in his cheeks when I presented him with a chocolate birthday cake inscribed, "Happy Birthday, Ed" and threw my arms around him. "We made it," I said, referring to our longstanding plan, the one where we promised joint retirement from our day jobs, the one where we planned to spend the rest of our days traveling, gardening, writing, and taking time to savor a morning cup of coffee--together.

Today, as I sit sipping coffee, eyes raised to a sunrise and fingerhugging my pen, I'd like to think Edward Louis Sclier is standing over a long line of tomato plants, admiring the fruits of his labor.

*coffee mug raised high to the sky*

Here's to you, Honey. Happy Birthday!

Eunice Kennedy Shriver - 1921-2009

2009-08-17T17:25:00.004-04:00

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." --Mahatma Gandhi

Today we honor the memory of famous widow, Eunice Kennedy Shriver. She died August 11, 2009 at age 88.

Eunice Kennedy Shriver was married to Robert Sargent Shriver, Jr. in 1972. Robert Sargent Shriver was U. S. Ambassador to France from 1968-1990, and was U. S. vice presidential candidate in 1972. They had 5 children: Robert III, Maria, Timothy, Mark, and Anthony.

In the 1960s, Eunice Kennedy Shriver founded the Special Olympics. Her life was devoted to helping establish numerous health-care facilities, researching causes of mental retardation, and ways to treat it.

To the family and friends of Mrs. Shriver, Griefcase extends profound sympathy and sincere wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.

Mourning Quote:

"As a man lives and thinks, so will he write." --John Galsworthy

Mourning Joy:

Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheeze Whiz?

A: Cheeze Whuz.

After we remember Him, do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a Joy-nal, set the clock timer for ten, fingerhug your pen, and write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, and just remember: we're not alone.

Linda Della Donna
"...And sometime when I wasn't looking, I got a new life."

Happiness is a Butterfly

2009-08-15T05:27:00.003-04:00

"The pen is the tongue of the mind." --Cervantes

Dear Everyone,

This write finds me in Menemsha. I am on vacation cruising ports from Connecticut to Nantucket. Yesterday I was in Newport, RI. Thoughts of Ed filled my brain, I wondered how was he doing, if he remembered me. I began to feel guilty that I was here and he wasn't, things like that. A monarch butterfly fluttered past my window. It slowed before my eyes and seemed to freeze in place. Then, it softly fluttered from my view. I can't help believing that it was Ed stopping by to say hello and reassure me he's thinking of me, too. Just thought I'd share.

Mourning Joy:

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because all his uncles were ants.

After we remember Him, do what I do. Set the clock timer for ten minutes, open what I lovingly refer to as a JOY-nal, and write something.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, everyone, and just remember, we're not alone.

xxoo:)L

Just another Friday...

2009-08-14T11:05:00.002-04:00

"All writers, I think, are to one extent or another damaged. Writing is our way of repairing ourselves." -- J. Anthony Lukas

Another Friday. Another week gone by.

What did you do this week?

Time to think about you, as you process your grief.

Take time. Become your own best friend.

Did you comb your hair?

Did you brush your teeth?

Did you fingerhug your pen and write something, anything, in your joy-nal?

Sounds silly, maybe, to a non-widow. But for the newly widowed, and anyone of us out here cycling through the grief process, little things do mean a lot, and help mark our new beginning.

Why not sit down today. Set a clock timer for ten. Fingerhug your pen. Then make a list of all the things you would like to do this week.

Make a plan.

After you comb your hair and brush your teeth, of course.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone! And just remember, we're not alone.

Linda Della Donna
"...And sometime when I wasn't looking, I got a new life."

For the Newly Widowed - Two Tips to Get You Through Your Grief

2009-08-12T18:19:00.007-04:00

If you are reading this then something terrible has happened. First let me give my condolences. As Joan Didion says, "Life changes fast." Next let me extend a heartfelt welcome. You are now a member of an exclusive club -- the club nobody wants to join. Though it may feel like your world's turned upside down, already you're asking questions: "How will I cope? Will things be okay? And can I please have my husband back?"

Best I can offer is 2 out of 3. As you may have already learned, becoming a widow is like sliding down a banister, finding out it’s a razor blade and then landing into a bucket of iodine. Worse, trying to explain your pain to someone not grieving your loss is like trying to describe the color orange to a blind man.

Now that I have your attention, I'm here to tell you, you are not alone. And yes, everything will be okay. You can, and you will learn to cope.

Here are my two tips I recommend you will need to remember as you cycle through your grief:

Number 1. Breathe.

That’s right. Assume the position: Right hand on chest, left hand on belly. Now practice sucking air -- In through your nose, and blowing air -- Right back out your mouth.

Do this s-l-o-w-l-y.

Do it when people, or the things people say, begin to overwhelm you (and, honey, trust me, it will happen). Remember: take one step back, and take a deep breath.

Taking deep breaths will ground you and help you regain your focus.

In addition, teaching yourself to breathe properly will do wonders for your complexion. You’ll look not only look good, you’ll feel good, too.

I know you could care less about what I’m saying right now, but for you, the newly widowed, breathing is a good thing and something that will become a distraction when you need one most.

Number 2. Repeat after me: "I'm not up to this conversation at this time."

Good job.

Now be ready to say these words to the next perfect stranger who asks you an inane question, the one that will cut like a knife and make you want to run and hide.

If everything everyone is saying at this time sounds inane, then already you know what I mean. So just open your mouth and whisper the above words. I promise those people will realize right away you need your space.

Not only will you, the newly widowed, need space, you must also realize you will need to conserve energy for those other important things, like washing your kid's face, if you got a kid; sitting down to eat a hot meal, hungry or not; and performing simple tasks, like brushing your teeth and combing your hair.

I know it’s hard to bury a husband. Life as you knew it is changed forever. But it’s now onto Plan B, whatever Plan B is.

Just remember my 2 tips outlined above, and like a good scout, you will have earned your badge of courage, and be prepared to conquer your new world, which is vital to your survival in the days ahead.

Maharani Gayatri Devi - Died July 29, 2009

2009-08-09T10:10:00.001-04:00

"There is an irreducibly private dimension to real grief, a point at which one's own words and the kind intentions of others all run to ground and we can only bear what follows in silence. And that silence is not a bad thing; it's a measure of respect, for oneself and for what is lost, as well as an acknowledgment of the hard things we all must bear on our own eventually."

Steve Perry, A Minneapolis Writer

Good Mourning, Widows, Widowers, and anybody else out there missing and mourning a loved one.

Welcome to the club nobody wants to join--Ever!

Today we honor Maharani Gayatri Devi, widow of Maharaja Sawai Man Singh II of Jaipur. Their famous courtship and subsequent marriage is legendary. The Maharani's husband died June 24, 1970 after a polo accident in England. After his death, Gayatri Devi went on to become an extremely successful politician. In 1962, she ran for Parliament, winning by a landslide. Known for her classic beauty and often compared to Jackie Kennedy for her poise and celebrity, Gayatri Devi died July 29, 2009 at age 90.

Mourning Joy:

What type of phone does a turtle use?

A shell phone.

After we remember Him, do what I do--Open what I lovingly refer to as a JOY-nal, fingerhug your pen, and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone!

And just remember, we're not alone.

xxoo:)L

Got Will?

2009-07-24T06:59:00.002-04:00

Dear Widows, And anyone else mourning the loss of a loved one,

Got will? Think you don't need a will?

Well, think again.

Did you know...

Nina Wang, in 2007, left her entire fortune--$4 billion--to a fortune teller.

That's a yupper.

His name is Tony Chan.

You may not recall the name Charles Vance Millar, but Chucky dear left everything he had to any woman who gave birth to the most babies in the ten years after his death.

Es verdad!

The year was 1926, the place was Toronto, and the late Mr. Millar was a rich lawyer.

Remember Marvel Comics?

Well, seems writer, Mark Gruenwald, upon his death specified that his ashes be mixed with ink and used in a comic book.

Then there's the one about the man who passed away in 1995. His name was Robert Miller and he did his part to reduce annoying traffic situations caused by double-parking. He bequeated $5,000 as reward money to police officers who write the most tickets for double-parking.

Think you've heard it all?

Well, not quite.

There's still the Wham-O frisbee tale to tell.

You know, that round yellow plastic thing created by a guy named Ed Hendrick.

Ed's dying request was that his ashes be molded into memorial frisbees with profits from sales given to a museum just for frisbees.

As anyone can see, any one can will any thing. And any will is better than no will. A will is easy to make. You may even be able to do it without a lawyer.

Check out computer stores for will-related software packages, bookstores for books on how to write one, and of course, there's always an online website waiting for you to find them. Simply do a word search at your favorite search engine site.

So what are you waiting for?

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And just remember, we're not alone.

:)L

Smile, Darn 'Ya, Smile

2009-07-23T13:31:00.004-04:00

Good Mourning, Widows! And, anybody else out there mourning the loss of their special loved one,

Did you know...

It takes half as many muscles to smile as it does to make a frown.

What's more it makes you and the people around you feel twice as good.

Okay. So, what are you waiting for?

Smile, Darn 'Ya, Smile!

After that, do what I do. Open what I lovingly refer to as a Joy-nal. Then, fingerhug your pen and write something.

I know it's not easy losing the one you love. On the long list of ugly, that item rockets to the top. But, if I can make it, so can you.

And now for a few giggles, a dose of Mourning Joy:

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.

Every dog has his day, but the nights are reserved for the cats.

A dentist and a minicurist fought tooth and nail.

Life begins at 40, but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Police were called to a day-care center where a three year old was resisting a rest.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acuired by age eighteen.

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And just remember, we're not alone.

Linda Della Donna

Farrah Fawcett - 1947 - 2009

2009-06-26T14:46:00.000-04:00

Michael Jackson - 1958-2009

2009-06-26T14:42:00.001-04:00

Carpe Diem

2009-06-12T06:47:00.002-04:00

It's a new day. On my long list of things to do, today, I will get some writing done. I will read a chapter, perhaps two or three chapters, in "Nine." After that? Well, time's a wasting. Got books to write.

What about you?

What are your plans?

What are you waiting for?

Answer to yesterday's quiz:

Drum roll, please.

1948

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And just remember,

We're not alone.

:)L

Happy Birthday to ME!

2009-06-11T15:51:00.001-04:00

''We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing!''

George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday was my birthday. I turned age *hand over mouth*. Whaddya know about that.

It is five years since I buried my beloved husband, Edward Louis Sclier. Like the 1960's Virginia Slim's ad reads, "You've come a long way, Baby!"

Indeed, I have.

The grief road is not an easy road to travel and a lot has happened to me these past years. I'm stronger, wiser, perhaps a bit prettier *wink-wink*.

August 2004, my only son got engaged.

October 2005, he got married.

October 2008, he and his darling wife presented me with a new baby grandson.

Words cannot adequately express the pride I feel each time I look into that little guy's bright blue eyes. How I wish Ed was here to hold him and to share in this joy. What I would give for a picture of that, as I wish for a picture of Ed choosing an engagement ring and dancing at our son's wedding.

Yes, I miss Ed. A heap.

Yes, I always will.

No question, there is a pronounced place forever in my mended heart especially for Ed.

I treasure the life we shared, the love we still share, and I am grateful for the memories.

But...

It is important to note that I have moved forward in my new my life.

I love my son and enjoy sincerely the relationship we have. I treasure his daily breath. I love his wife and I am most proud of his choice in a mother for my new grand baby.

I am delighted to be a part of this family.

If you are experiencing the loss of a loved one and perhaps reading this write, it is my sincere desire that my words will give you hope and encouragement to keep on keeping on, one baby step at a time, with the rest of your life. If I can do it, so can you.

My message is and continues to be...

We're not alone.

Here's wishing you and yours what I lovingly refer to as mourning joy all the days of your lives.

Linda Della Donna

Oh yeah, and back to the subject of my birthday. Here, for your reading pleasure, is a list of things that went on the year I was born. What a hoot!

Can you guess the year?
*the answer tomorrow*

The Year I was born

Top Tunes

Twelfth Street Rag
Manana
I'm Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover
It's a Most Unusual Day
So In Love
It's Magic

Top Movies

Hamlet
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Johnny Belinda
The Three Musketeers

Best Actor & Actress
Laurence Olivier & Jane Wyman

Then and Now

New Ford
Then $1,150
Now $20,900

Milk (1 gal.)
Then $0.88
Now $3.99

1st Class Stamp
Then $0.03
Now $0.42

Bread (1 lb.)
Then $0.14
Now $3.19

New Home
Then $7,700
Now $218,400

Population (mil.)
Then 146.6
Now 306.8

Still stumped?

What was going on back then:

West Coast was rapidly gaining population

Organization of American States created

One million U. S. homes had TV sets

Soviets blockaded West Berlin

U. S. planes dropped food

Babe Ruth gave final farewell at Yankee Stadium

Babe Ruth died

Eastern Europe fell under Soviet sphere

Eisenhower retired from active duty in the U. S. Army

Bob Mathias won the decathlon at the first summer Olympics since 1936

Railroads shifted from coal-fired steam locomotives to diesel-electric

Franklin 50-cent piece issued, replacing Liberty Walking coin

The answer tomorrow.

Mourning Joy - Just Monkeying Around

2009-04-21T13:45:00.003-04:00

What kind of tool do you need to fix a broken ape?

A monkey wrench!

What did the gorilla say when his sister had a baby?

I'll be a monkey's uncle!

What did the gorilla say when it dialed the wrong number?

"King Kong ring wrong!"

Have a joy-filled day, Everyone. And just remember, we're not alone.

You have permission to contact Griefcase at Griefcasenet@gmail.com to request Linda Della Donna's free ebook, "Treasury of Quotations" and to join a private group where members are invited to share stories, memories, resources, and lend support.

Griefcase Gets Letters - Here's one From Vicky of Madrid, Spain

2009-03-23T06:00:00.001-04:00

"Let's dare to be ourselves, for we do that better than anyone else can." --Shirley Briggs

Dear Widows,

The following is a copy of a letter I received recently from a widow in Madrid, Spain. Her name is Vicky.

Vicky first wrote to me when she was newly widowed. That was more than one and 1/2 years ago. Vicky's journey is one of courage, strength, determination and hope and I am honored and proud to know her.

I share Vicky's words with Griefcase readers today in the hope that every woman out there going through the grief process will find inspiration and motivation to keep on keeping on, even under the worst of circumstances and to always remember, we're not alone.

I am proud and honored to share Vicky's words with you. Here they are:

(And a special note to Vicky: Thank you for your courage, your kindness, and your friendship. You're doing it! I am so proud of you.)

Hello everyone,

I've been thinking about writing for some time now but never know quite how to begin, or what to say. I'm totally new to this...

I first spoke to Linda about 18 months ago, I came across her articles by chance and contacted her out of utter desperation. Her words were soothing, she told me that it was going to be hard, but that everything would be ok. It was exactly what I needed to hear...

My close family and friends would also tell me everything was going to be ok, that time heals, that I'm young, that I have a long life ahead of me, but coming from them who hadn't gone through the same thing didn't really comfort me. I always knew the theory about how time heals, but felt scared and negative, theory at times like that doesn't help.

I thank Linda for caring, for sharing her experience, and for bringing widows together...

She's inspiring and obviously a very good person for wanting to help others in similar situations. I for one admit that I mightn't make such an effort to
reach out and help others, although one would always like to, days seem to creep by and nothing gets done, so thank you Linda for taking the time in helping others.

About me...

I'm spanish, from Madrid. I lost my husband in Sept 2006. We were driving back to Madrid from our holiday home at the coast, my husband was driving and also in the car was my 3 and a half yr old son and myself. The tire burst and we went off the road, my husband died within half an hour (whilst still in the car). My son survived and so did I (although I severely damaged my legs). Thank goodness my son turned out ok, he injured his head but has fully recovered. My husband and I had been together since we were 14. He was always my best friend, I couldn't imagine life without him, he was 31 when he passed away.

I had to face the loss as well as my recovery, it was all very hard to handle. I couldn't walk for a long time, I felt so trapped in misery, if only I had found this site then. I had to live with my husband's parents as I couldn't move and needed constant care and of course, couldn't look after my son either. I've had 8 operations over the last 2 years. Now I have come a long way, I walk with a cane as my right knee is not good, but have accepted my situation and am determined not to let my injuries get in the way of my life.

The only thing in life that has no remedy is death, I feel lucky to have survived and even luckier for having my son, who is the living image of his father.

The grief process as you all know is difficult and has many stages, just when you think you're feeling better it comes back at you like a ton of bricks. This is going to sound strange but it took me a long time to forgive my husband for dying, for leaving us. He was supposed to look after us always. A deep part of me felt it was thoughtless of him for leaving us, why didn't he fight like I did? I was even jealous of the fact that he had gone and I was left to fight against life, against my injuries... I was the one left to explain to our son that he wouldn't be coming back, I had to do everything on my own and felt I couldn't cope. All this sounds ridiculous now, but its how I felt, I couldn't stop asking him why. I was living in his parents' house and suffered their mourning too, it was so unfair! Life was so unfair!

Woops, just realized I've written a novel, sorry, told you I wasn't used to this, lucky I didn't know what to write! Got a bit carried away.

Just so you know, I feel a lot better now. I know I will always miss my husband, he was the man of my life. I'm so glad I met him, so glad I married him, so grateful that I've experienced love so deep, so much happiness. I feel blessed.

Thanks for listening.

Vicky

Happiness is Hunter

2009-03-18T12:00:00.000-04:00

photo.jpg - Gmail

Letter From Taryn Siimpson Re Jason Walker

2009-03-17T06:28:00.000-04:00

Hello All,

Most or all of you may know that I wrote Jason Walker's memoirs for him back in 2006. He and I had a great time collaborating and the end result was an incredible book about his life, values and strength. To jog your memory, Jason is a quadraplegic and the oldest living survivor (early 30's) of Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy.

It is with a very heavy heart that I announce that Jason passed away March 16 at 9:30pm in Thomasville, GA.
His mother, Linda, asked that I let everyone know as I'm sure she has her hands full right now. Here are additional details:

The viewing is Wed. 6 - 8pm.

Funeral Thurs. 2pm at Eastside Baptist Church.

Funeral Home Allen & Allen in Thomasville, Ga. (They have an online register)

Jason once told me that when notified of his passing, don't be sad. 'Cause I finally won't be missing my body.

TARYN SIMPSON - GHOSTWRITER
ONE STOP SHOPPING
Writing, Blogging, Trailers, Academic etc.
www.Simpson-EPublishing.com
www.Taryn-Simpson.blogspot.com
www.FullCircle-AdminServices.blogspot.com

Interested readers may learn more about Jason by following this link:
http://www.wctv.tv/news/headlines/41387827.html

Mourning Joy

2009-03-08T06:37:00.000-04:00

What do cows read daily?

The moos-paper

Are you a member of the club nobody wants to join?

Drop me at griefcasenet@gmail.com to receive a copy of my free e-book, "Treasury of Quotations."

Mourning Joy

2009-03-07T06:35:00.000-05:00

What did people read 1 million years ago?

The Prehistoric Times!

Mourning Joy

2009-03-06T06:31:00.000-05:00

What is black and white and "red" all over?

The newespaper!

Mourning News - Update on First Ever National Conference on Widowhood

2009-02-25T15:32:00.003-05:00

"Death is not reduced to tragedy alone if we can find a way to rise from the ashes.", Michelle Neff Hernandez

Applause! Applause! Applause!

This just in from Michelle Neff Hernandez, Founder/Director, The Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation *see interview below*:

Michele has extended a party invitation for the first EVER National Conference on Widowhood, July 17-19, 2009 to be held at the San Diego Hotel and Marina in downtown San Diego, California. This invite is for YOU, dearest widows, widowers, bereavement professionals, supportive friends and family, clergy of any denomination, and anyone else who is familiar with the grief journey.

Michele believes, and Griefcase agrees, "...We deserve a celebration of all we have accomplished. We have done what many of us believed to be impossible...surviving the loss of our spouse."

I encourage everyone reading this blog to join Michele "...In celebrating our courage, creating our future, and most importantly in building a support network for those who will come after us."

And here's more info according to Michele:

"...If you sign up with a friend you both save 25%! Travel together, laugh together, and save money together!! Use the promotion code: SSLF81793XX5 when registering at www.sslf.org. Together we can make a difference, sign up today!

Thanks, Michele, and all best wishes for a successful FIRST EVER NATIONAL CONFERENCE ON WIDOWHOOD!

Michele Neff Hernandez, Founder/President, The Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation - An Interview

2009-02-13T16:34:00.005-05:00

Good Mourning, Everyone!

Meet Michele Neff Hernandez, member of the club nobody wants to join and Founding President of The Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation.

Recently I had the honor of interviewing Michele.

Here's my interview with Michele (I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed preparing it):

Question: How did The Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation come about?

Answer: Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation was created as a resource center for people grieving the loss of someone they love. When my own husband died three and a half years ago, I felt very alone. Losing my husband in an accident when I was thirty-five years old turned my whole world upside down, and I could not figure out how to make sense of the conflicting emotions that became my daily companions. After living in a fog for a few months, the thought of finding other widows and asking them how they lived through this experience occurred to me.

From the time of my first interview, my grief journey was inalterably changed. Meeting other women who understood me in a deep and personal way shined a light on the darkness I had been living in up to that point. When I realized that I was not alone in my sorrow, the burden of loss was a little bit lighter. As I became more familiar with the ways in which widows all over the country are supporting each other through innovative programs, and courageous personal quests, I realized there was a need for all of us to come together. Meeting this need is a goal of SSLF. We provide resources and programs that connect those who serve with the grieving people who need the love an support uniquely offered by individuals who have traveled the same path.

Question: Where does your funding come from? Do you take donations, and if so, are they tax deductible? Also, how does someone make a tax-deductible donation to the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation?

Answer: Our initial funding came from a grant from a generous Rotary Club in Simi Valley, California that asked me to speak to them about the interviews I did with other widows around the country. Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation is a 501(c)3 corporation, and all donations are tax deductible. We are currently seeking both corporate and individual sponsors whose donations will help us fund the various programs we run, and a special event we are planning in July of 2009. We work hard to honor the trust of our donors by providing high quality programs and compassionate care to the communities we serve.

Donations can be made through our website at www.sslf.org or can be mailed to: 2828 Cochran St. #194 Simi Valley, Ca 93065.

We are so grateful to the people who support our mission to provide much needed hope to grieving people across the nation.

Question: I understand you have an upcoming conference? Please tell us about this exciting event--Where is it? When is it? Who can participate?

Answer: We are thrilled to be hosting the first ever National Conference on Widowhood in San Diego, California.

Widows, widowers, bereavement professionals, clergy of all denominations, grief support leaders, and interested family members are all welcome to join us, and each group will go home inspired by the people they meet. The conference will be held at the San Diego Marriott Hotel and Marina from July 17-19, 2009. There will be an outdoor concert, thirty two different workshops available on Saturday, a banquet dinner, and we finish of the weekend with a 5K run/walk...literally putting one foot in front of the other.

This event will be a celebration of all we have accomplished, and a place to find the inspiration to do more in the future. We best honor those we lost by truly living the life we have left ahead of us. This conference will provide attendees with tools they can use, and the hope they seek to make tomorrow a brighter day.

Question: What one thing do you want participants in this event to come away with?

Answer: Anyone who attends this event will come away with new information about the services and programs that are available for widows.

They will also discover the power of being in a place filled with people who understand the journey of grief, and they will be astounded by the amazing amount of good that has come from the ashes of loss.

Question: Being a widow is belonging to the club nobody wants to join. Care to share with readers something positive you have learned since becoming a member?

Answer: I have learned that I don't have to be afraid to heal. That learning to love life again, does not diminish the love I have for my husband, but rather honors that love in a courageous way. I now know that the lessons grief has taught me have altered the way I look at life, and that this new perspective is a powerful force for good in the world.

Question: Is there one secret about yourself since becoming a widow you can share with readers.

Answer: Hiring a gardener was a fabulous decision...I often tell him he is my best friend!

Question: And finally, Michele, if there is one thing you could tell the widows mourning the loss of their loved one to help them in their journey through the grief process, what would it be?

Answer: There are two things I always say to new widows.

The first is a reminder to be gentle with yourself. Allow your feelings to take you away, and allow your day-to-day life to bring you back. Try to focus on making it through right now, and let tomorrow take care of itself.

The other thing is the thought that there was a time when you could not imagine being where you are today, in this circumstance. In that same way, there will be a day when you are in a place you would never have imagined. Your sister widows hold that hope for you, because we know it may be too heavy for you to carry right now. But someday the sun will shine again, and you will be able to hold onto the memories of your love without the sharpness of the pain you feel right now. Really.

For more information about Michele and The Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation, readers may contact Michele Neff Hernandez

c/o Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
2828 Cochran St. #194
Simi Valley, Ca 93065
877-671-4071 ext 706

Or, visit The Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Thank you, Michele, for your inspiring and motivating words. I'm certain readers are encouraged (I know I am) and perhaps looking forward to attending your celebration event for anyone grieving the loss of a loved one.

Dora Silveria - February 8, 2009 - Age 77

2009-02-12T15:37:00.008-05:00

Today, Griefcase lights a candle for Dora Silveria, wife, mother, grandmother, humanitarian, and friend.

I met Dora in 2007. It was at a party.

How special for me.

I was on the arm of my new friend, and I remember feeling uneasy--I had just relocated, just moved into a new community, and here I was meeting new people.

Dora welcomed me with warmth, friendship, and sincere non-judgmental affection. I will never forget Dora, and will always remember her smile, her gentle touch, her electric eyes and most of all her shock of white hair.

What a blessing that our paths crossed.

Let the world know this writer is grateful sincerely for the memory.

To Dora's husband, Dick; daughter, Ricki V. Silveria and her husband, Michael Spruill; daughter, Danette L. Fernandez and her husband, Wilfredo; son, Kent B. Silveria and his wife, Patricia, and her beloved grandsons, Douglas and Curtis Silveria and Austin and Eric Fernandez, Griefcase extends sincere condolences and best wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.

I'm Free

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free!
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
to laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found peace at the end of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy!
A love shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes! These things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I've savored much,
good friends, good times,
a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me.
God wanted me now, HE SET ME FREE!

James Whitmore - 1921-2006

2009-02-09T06:01:00.002-05:00

"My father believed that family came before everything, that work was just a vehicle in which to provide for your family. At the end, and in the last two and a half months of his life, he was surrounded by his family." --James Whitmore, Jr.

Today we celebrate the death of actor, James Whitmore. He died at his home in Malibu, CA, Friday, February 6, 2009.

Born October 1, 1921, in White Plains, NY, the youngest of four children, James' acting career spanned more than 50 years and just as many motion pictures. He leaves fourth wife, Nancy Nash, actress-turned-author,to mourn his passing.

Griefcase extends deepest sympathies and best wishes for mourning joy all the days of your life to: Nancy Nash, and every member of the James Whitmore family.

Mourning Quote:

"Courage is strength." --taken from a t.v. commercial

Mourning Joy:

What gets larger the more you subtract?

*scroll down*

A hole.

After we remember Him, finger hug your pen. Open what I lovingly refer to as a joy-nal and write something.

Go ahead.

I dare you.

Mourning Joy

2009-02-07T06:00:00.002-05:00

Q: Why is the sun lighter than the Earth?

A: Because it rises every morning!

Mourning Joy

2009-02-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

Q: Where is the deepest part of the Earths oceans?

A: On the bottom!

David Dewar - In Loving Memory - 1st Anniversary

2009-02-05T06:34:00.002-05:00

We sat beside your bedside,
our hearts were crushed and
sore; We did our duty to the
end, until we could do no
more; In tears we watched
you fade away; and though
our hearts were breaking
We knew you could not stay.
God knew that you
were suffering
He knew you were in pain
He saw the road was getting
rough, And the hills were
hard to climb.
It broke our hearts
to lose you
But you didn't go alone
For part of us went with you
The day God
called you home.

Sadly missed by, Your Loving Wife, Barbara, Children & Grandchildren

Mourning Joy

2009-02-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

Q: What does planet Earth use to go fishing?

A: The North and South Poles!

Mourning Joy

2009-02-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

Q: What did Jimmy Buffett have to do after he hurt his heel?

A: "Blew out my flip-flop. Stepped on a pop top, hurt my heel...had to cruise on back home." From 1977's Margaritaville

Mourning Trivia

2009-02-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

Q: What was the Conch Republic's latest annexation?

A: The old Seven-Mile Bridge was claimed as sovereign territory in 2005.

Mourning Joy

2009-02-02T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's bent, salty, and sings rock songs?

Elvis Pretzel

Mourning Joy

2009-02-01T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's a ghost's favorite dinner?

Spookhetti

Mourning Joy

2009-01-31T06:08:00.001-05:00

What has eight eyes, a tongue, and tells talaes?

A sneaker

Mourning Joy

2009-01-30T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's brown, lumpy, and given to actors and actresses?

Academy awarts

Mourning Joy

2009-01-29T06:08:00.003-05:00

Q: What's the difference between an ice cream and a bully?

A: You lick one: the other licks you.

Mourning Joy

2009-01-29T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's a ghost's favorite breakfast?

Dreaded wheat

Mourning Joy

2009-01-28T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's a lazy shoe called?

A loafer

Mourning Joy

2009-01-27T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's a sick duck?

A malardy

Mourning Joy

2009-01-26T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's a signature?

A baby swan's autograph

Mourning Joy

2009-01-25T06:08:00.001-05:00

What color is a shout?

Yell-oh

Mourning Joy

2009-01-24T06:08:00.000-05:00

What has feathers and carries water?

An aqua-duck

Mourning Joy

2009-01-23T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's red and green, and sits in the garden going "tick tock, tick tock?"

A metrognome

Mourning Joy

2009-01-22T06:08:00.001-05:00

what's the easiest way to make a bandstand?

Take the chairs away

2009-01-21T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's red, squishy, and says "excuse me"?

A polite strawberry with hiccups

Wendy Marquez - Happy Birthday Wendy Marquez

2009-01-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Wendy Marquez--Wherever you are!

Mourning Joy

2009-01-20T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's white, runs, and lies under the bed with its tongue hanging out?

A sneaker

Mourning Joy

2009-01-19T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's cowardly, thin, and full of noodles?

Chicken soup

From the Griefcase E-Mailbag

2009-01-18T06:32:00.001-05:00

In Phoenix, Arizona, a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia.

Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up & fulfill all his
dreams. Now that was no longer possible...

The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dream to come true.

She took her son' s hand and asked, 'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?'

Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.'

Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can make your wish come true.'

Later that day she went to her local fire Department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix!

She explained her son's final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, 'Look, we can do better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary Fireman for the whole day.

He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards! And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy -- one-with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots. They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast.'

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck.

Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out on all three.

He rode in the different fire engines, the Paramedic's' van, and even the fire chief's car. He was also videotaped for the local news program. Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought
possible.

One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.

Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.

The chief replied, 'We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes.. Will you please do me a favor?

When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire?'

'It's the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?'

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window---

16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room.

With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him. With his dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said,

'Chief, am I really a fireman now?'

'Billy, you are, and the Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand,' the chief said.

With those words, Billy smiled and said, 'I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and the angels have been singing...'

He closed his eyes one last time.

The above was sent to me by Jill Plummer. I share it with you today.

Mourning Joy

2009-01-18T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's yellow and explodes on your pudding?

Kamikaze custard

Mourning Joy

2009-01-17T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's green, sour, and cleans teeth?

A tooth pickle!

Mourning Joy

2009-01-16T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

Mourning Joy

2009-01-15T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's green and stuffs cabs?

A Martian taxidermist

How to Get Through the Grief Process - For Widows Only - 3 Tips to Help You Process Your Grief

2009-01-14T06:33:00.001-05:00

My new article, "How to Get Through the Grief Process - For Widows Only - 3 Tips to Help You Process Your Grief" is posted at EzineArticles.com

I invite you to read it. Please click here.

Mourning Joy

2009-01-14T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's green and for hire?

A taxi cabbage

Marietta J. Steinmetz

2009-01-13T08:30:00.001-05:00

"Her smile truly made one's day. She had a wonderful way with words and a compassionate and empathetic ear." --A friend

Today we welcome into the club nobody wants to join, Edward Steinmetz, widower of Marietta J. Steinmetz.

Marietta died Sunday, January 11, 2009 with Edward, their son, Sam, and daughter, Eva, by her side.

A loving wife and mother, Marietta was active in St. Luke's Church in Fort Myers and St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Key West. She was 64 years old.

In lieu of flowers, the Steinmetz family requests donations be made to:

Hope Hospice

or

Susan G. Komen

for the Cure.

In addition, condolence messages may be viewed and offered at www.harvey-engelhardt-metz.com

To the entire Steinmetz family, Griefcase extends condolences and sincere best wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.

Mourning Joy

2009-01-13T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's plastic, runs on batteries, and counts cattle?

A cow-culator

Chuck Mamoudis - May 24, 1953 to January 11, 2008

2009-01-12T06:18:00.001-05:00

It's been one year since you left. Not a day goes by you aren't missed. If tears could build a "stairway" and memories a "lane", I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.

Love,

Heather & all of your friends
'Le Bon Ton Rule'

Mourning Joy

2009-01-12T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's a glue-covered aspirin good for?

A man with a splitting headache

Mourning Joy

2009-01-11T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's poverty?

Watching the world go buy?

Mourning Joiy

2009-01-10T06:08:00.001-05:00

What has feathers and drives on the highway?

Coq-au-van

R. Scott Lewis Writes Griefcase

2009-01-10T05:30:00.002-05:00

:

:

Dear Reader:

Today I share a letter from a reader. :

Here it is: :

Hi Linda:

I wanted to let you know that your website connected me to one of the families that needed the information I had.

Your service is an invaluable tool for our justice system because the truth needs to be known by public/individuals/victims. I believe our news papers and public officials aren't half as efficient as your website is for getting out the truth!

It takes courage to do what you have done.
I commend your efforts and thank you!

Sincerely,

>scott<

R. Scott Lewis,

President,

Adj. Prof. John Jay College of Criminal Justice,

Notary Public

ITM Corp

888 653 6204

"Ask us how you can SAVE 15 to 40 percent on your GAS/DIESEL or ENERGY costs"

Mourning Joy

2009-01-09T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's green, big, and doesn't speak all day?

The Incredible Sulk

Mary Kay and US Troops - Spreading Mourning Joy

2009-01-09T05:58:00.000-05:00

The following is a copy of an email I received from a reader seeking to raise Mary Kay products to send to our troops. Because Griefcase supports U. S. American Troops, I share it with you, Dear Reader, today. Just say, "Griefcase sent ya."

Here it is:

Greetings!!

As many of you know that I'm the wife of an active duty soldier (who is deploying in the Spring) and this is a cause near and dear to my heart. I am hoping that some of you can help out.
________________
Soldiers’ Angels is calling all Mary Kay Beauty Consultants.

Selected independent Mary Kay distributors have teamed up with Soldiers’ Angels to get our troops the skin protection they need.

Some distributors donate a duplicate of each product sold, while others give a percentage of their profits. Check with your Mary Kay distributor to see if she is participating in this project!

The Tax ID# for Soldiers’ Angels (so you can claim the donation) is 20-0583415.

The donated sets are being sent directly from Mary Kay Cosmetics to Soldiers’ Angels, who will then distribute it to the soldiers.

Mary Kay items for our male and female troops are needed:

* After Shave

* Facial Cleansing Bar

* Facial Moisturizer

* Body Cleansing Gels

* Body Lotions

* Sunburn Soothing Gel

* Facial Cleansing Cloths (Dry-just add water)

* Lip Balm

* Acne Treatment

* Gel Energizing Lotion for Feet and Legs

* Satin Hands Treatment for Dry cracked hands

* Black waterproof mascara

* Nail polish

Any makeup you have to donate is also now being accepted as well. We are putting these into our Female Vet packs that are being distributed to the VA hospitals.

If you are a consultant that wants to get involved, please send your product to one of the following warehouses

If west of the Mississippi, ship to:

Soldiers’ Angels

914 Tourmaline Dr

Newbury Park, CA 91320

If east of the Mississippi, ship to:

Soldiers’ Angels

112 Greenhill Rd

Ramseur, NC 27316

Have a Happy New Year!

TammyBusiness & Learning / WAH Expo

http://www.businessandlearning.com/

Mourning Joy

2009-01-08T06:08:00.001-05:00

What has a bowler hat and umbrella, and crawls?

A British civil serpent

Jett Travolta

2009-01-07T06:10:00.000-05:00

"We are heartbroken that our time with him was so brief." John Travolta and Family

Welcome to the club nobody wants to join.

Today we remember Jett Travolta, beloved son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston, and dear brother of Ella Bleu.

On January 3, 2009, Jett Travolta collapsed from a seizure and died. He was 16 years old.

To every member of the Travolta family, Griefcase extends sincerest condolences and best wishes for mourning joy all the days of your lives.

Mourning Joy

2009-01-07T06:08:00.001-05:00

What's a guillotine?

A french chopping center

Mourning Joy

2009-01-06T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's famous and lives in bathrooms?

Someone flushed with success

Mourning Joy

2009-01-05T06:08:00.000-05:00

What's a guillotine?

A french chopping center

Surprise! You're Husband is Dead! Expect the Unexpected

2009-01-04T06:14:00.001-05:00

So here you are, suddenly alone, without your your life partner. And you have no idea what to expect. Your world's been turned upside down. And like a mighty oak caught in a fierce wind, you feel uprooted. Your feet don't touch the ground. Think you're crazy? You're not. You're just a new widow. Surprise! Your husband is dead and your life is forever changed. Learning to expect the unexpected will help you get through this most painful time in your life.

Here's my advice--10 things you need to know in order to survive:

1. Expect people to say stupid things.

Don't worry, you're young, you'll meet someone new."

No matter what your age, these words will sting like a hot iron on raw flesh. Your mind is on your husband and preserving His memory. The thought of another man in your life too soon after His death may cause you additional pain.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

If there is a "loss," this makes you wonder where is found? For a new widow, there is no found.

"He would want you to find a new man."

Hmmm… This writer takes umbrage to this one. Nobody can tell you what He wanted, except you. Nor, should they.

"I understand. I'm divorced."

Not.

Divorce is different from death. Though a divorced individual may wish her ex-husband to not be here, it just isn't the same thing. And while divorce can be painful, and having experienced one personally, the death of a soul mate is different. As this writer will attest, there is no connection.

2. Expect to be asked out--by your best friend's husband.

3. Expect to be asked, "Do you masturbate?" by your best friend.

4. Expect to break down in tears when you least expect it--At the sound of the doorbell ringing, at the sound of the telephone singing, at the sight of a man and woman walking hand in hand.

For all too soon the reality of being without Him by your side sets in and it will take time for you to let go of your past.

But you will.

5. Expect to begin each new day wondering how the heck did you make it though the day before? And expect it to end thinking you just can't do it any more.

6. Expect to feel weak, strong, suicidal, angry, happy, euphoric, glad, sad, guilty, alone, lonely, trapped, free, tired, bored, overworked, overwhelmed, silly, puzzled--Like you don't belong.

Why not? You have just experienced life at its worst.

But, I am here to tell you, everything will be okay.

Think baby steps.

Think, I can.

Think, I will!

7. Expect all your friends to run away.

They're frightened, too. And they just don't know how to handle your grief. Seeing you dealing with the death of someone near and dear is simply too close for comfort.

8. Expect all your friends to come back.

Give them time. The real ones do.

9. Expect to find yourself standing in front of an open refrigerator at 3:00 A. M. studying the expiration date on a bottle of ketchup.

Give yourself permission to process your grief any way necessary.

10. Expect to laugh when the dog pees on your living room rug, when the garage door falls off its hinges, when the refrigerator makes a puddle on the kitchen floor, and when the woman next door goes out on a date--With another woman.

Your life is forever changed now and so is your outlook.

In the big picture, these things become miniscule.

11. Expect to wish you were dead.

12. Expect to blame yourself for His dying.

13. Expect to ask yourself questions that have no answers.

What if?

Why me?

Why couldn't I have died first?

14. Expect to make plans to run away.

15. Expect to cancel your plans, because you know deep down inside there is no place to run away to.

16. Expect to kiss a fool. Maybe two. Or, three!

17. Expect to feel like you cheated.

You didn't.

18. Expect to wish for a giant eraser to erase away all your pain.

19. Expect your pain to never end.

It won't.

But in time, you'll learn how to manage it.

I promise.

20. Expect to smile--When you feel like crying.

21. Expect to not sleep.

22. Expect to not focus.

23. Expect to not eat.

At first you won't be able to enjoy food. But it is very important to drink plenty of fluids. If nothing else, drink water to keep your kidneys flush.

24. Expect to eat too much.

25. Expect to not be in the mood for all the things you once were in the mood for. Imagine, This writer didn't want to eat chocolate!

26. Expect the sun to rise tomorrow, the daffodils to sprout golden in spring, the red breasted robins to sing merrily, every oak, elm, cottonwood and maple to shed its leaves in autumn, the moon to glow, the stars to twinkle, the earth to spin on its axis, and then to sit and ponder why?

27. Expect no one to understand.

Though they will say, "I understand."

They can't.

They don't.

They never will.

Not even another widow.

Grief is personal--Just like a thumb print, no two alike.

28. Expect to make mistakes.

28. Expect to forgive yourself.

Okay. That's it. Now I know what you're thinking – What's with this writer? She's listed more than ten things?

You're correct.

But to make it through your grief, it is important to realize we're not alone. And what you're feeling is normal.

Being informed is being prepared. This information will help you survive.

Remember: Expect the unexpected. And, like the mighty oak caught in a fierce storm bending in the wind to keep from being uprooted, you will learn to accept your plight. You will learn to remain grounded, and eventually you will be able to turn your upside down world right side up again.

About me, the author: My name is Linda Della Donna and I am a freelance writer and a widow. A graduate of the Institute of Children's Literature, I write for children, parents, adults, widows, and anybody going through the grief process. A student of Natalie Goldberg, I write the stuff that makes your hair stand on end--cancer, dying, death, suicide--and I write it from my heart. In 1986, I entered a writing contest. Based on a childhood memory, my short story, "The Year That Christmas Waited" won first prize--I've been writing ever since.

Got a writing assignment? Need an interview for your website, newsletter, podcast? How about an article for your website? Want to comment on my writing? You have permission to contact this writer at griefcasenet@gmail.com - I look forward to hearing from you.

Mourning Joy

2009-01-04T06:08:00.002-05:00

What's a bad-tempered needlework teacher called?

A proper sew-and-sew