Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Edward Louis Sclier, Things He Said, Remembering....

Ed Sclier
1939 - 2004
Whenever I think about my late husband, Ed, I remember especially the things he said. His words of wisdom follow me as I go about my daily life. Today I share.

These are the things Ed Sclier said to me the last two weeks of his life:

"I love you. I'll always be here for you."

"Pay attention. Remember where you parked the car. Numbers going up mean you're going uptown, numbers going down, mean you're going downtown."

"If the electricity goes out while you're blow drying your hair, this is the circuit breaker. Press it."

"I did stupid."

"Pay no attention to my sister Judy. My sister Judy is crazy."

"George will need a car. He should have the Camry. Don't give it to him. Sell it to him."

"What would you do?"

"Linda is my wife. I love her very much. What Linda says goes. It would make me very unhappy if after I'm gone something should happen..."

"Keep writing. You must. Promise me..."

"What a kicker. We don't have a choice."

Here's to memories, promises, kickers, choices and no choice at all. Here's to making them, living them, working through them and sharing them. See you in print,

Linda Della Donna
"...And sometime when I wasn't looking, I got a new life."

Remembering her promise to to Ed Sclier to "Keep writing," Linda Della Donna authored, A Gift of Love. It is available at, Barnes and Noble, and bookseller stores everywhere.

Sunday, February 09, 2014

Welcome to my world...

Welcome to My World

If you are reading this, then something terrible has happened. First, my sincerest condolences. Please know that I wish you well. I cry not for you but with you, because I am a widow, too.

There are things every new widow needs to know. And just as a businessman carries a briefcase filled with important papers and files, a new widow needs a special case--a griefcase--a safe place to store her important information--the stuff that will guide her as she processes her grief.

That said, I would like to tell you that things will get better. But they won't. Let's face it, better would be to hear the front door swing open and those hungry words, "Honey, I'm home! What's for dinner?"

Your life is forever changed now, and things will never get better. The best I can offer is a different word. Because that's exactly what your life is now.

It's different.

What Will "They" Say? Ten Tacky Things and Ten Top Things to Say Back

Linda Della Donna is working in the field this week. While she is away from her office, past works will be shared.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. --Mr. Rogers

For the Newly Widowed
Top Ten Tacky Things "They" Will Say, and
What to Say Back
by Linda Della Donna
(c) 2008

The funeral is over.

You’ve written ten thousand checks. You've signed your name ten thousand times. You've stamped ten thousand envelopes to ten thousand thank you notes, and ten thousand times you wished you were dead.

The sight of Mr. Mailman, FTD, and your friendly next-door neighbor reduces you to tears.

You don’t hear the sound of water gushing out a faucet.

You can’t see.

You’re numb.

So, what’s wrong with you? You wonder.

The answer: You’re grieving.

And now it’s time to get out of the house.

However, before you step one bunny-slippered foot out your front door, beware -- friendly neighbor is waiting.

That’s okay, though, because after reading my top ten tacky things people will say and how you can react to them - like a good scout - you will be prepared.

Here they are, starting with the least tacky to the most tacky:

10. How much money did he leave you?

I know what you’re thinking. No one will ask you that question.

Surprise. They will.

Money questions are paramount on nosey people’s minds -- Soon as news gets out that your husband is dead.

They’ll also ask, Did he have insurance? Did he leave a will?

T-A-C-K-Y .

Best response: MYOB. In simple language, None of your business.

9. Don’t worry, you’re young. You’ll meet someone else.

On the long list of ugly, this one rockets to the top.

A new widow needs desperately to preserve her late husband’s memory. Replacing him, even in thought, at this time in her life is her choice.

Best answer: I am really not up to this conversation, at this time.

Then steal yourself.

And walk away.

8. Can I list your house?

Everyone believes they know what is best for you, dear newly widowed.

Even your next-door realtor.

Selling your home and moving away is at the top of his list.

Secretly, I’ve wondered if realtors and funeral directors network.

Best advice: When you find yourself barraged by friendly neighbor realtor, tell him, or her, I am not interested.

If friendly neighbor realtor persists, take action.

Contact the realty company that holds his license.

Request your name be removed from their mailing list.

Contact your local police department and file a complaint.

7. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.


Make dust!


Fast, faster, fastest!

6. I’m not really married. My wife and I have an understanding.

Meet this one with a cold stare.

For effect, ask friendly neighbor to, Speak louder. Tell him, I’m recording this conversation.

5. Don't tell my wife, but ...

Same response as Number 6, above.

4. I know what you need.

Unless friendly neighbor’s toting a crystal ball, nobody knows what, you, dear newly widowed needs. Not even another widow.

Choose answer number 7, 6, or 5.

3. When are you going to go out? C’mon! It’s been more than (fill in the blank) years!

Put the burden of a response to this question on your friendly neighbor.

Ask: What’s so terrible about being alone?

2. OH MY GOD! I CAN’T TAKE IT! Can I have his watch?

I have 8 wristwatches that belonged to Him. They sit in a shoebox on my dresser.

Best answer: No.

1. I’m going to sue you!

This happened to me.

Best advice: Keep your mouth shut. Hire a lawyer.

Coping with the death of a spouse is difficult.

You, dear newly widowed, may feel overwhelmed, and, unwittingly, you may find yourself volunteering information when what you really want is to be private.

Don’t be afraid -- be prepared.

Read my top ten tacky things people will say.

Practice ways to react to them before going out the house, and before you know it, you will see each new day will be filled with sounds of music and rays of sunlight instead of your friends’ and neighbors’ tacky comments and questions.

Linda Della Donna is a writer, photographer, public speaker, and grief coach. She supports individuals going through the grief process. She is author of best-selling, A Gift of Love. Be sure to opt-in for a copy of her free e-book, Treasury of Quotations and her free newsletter, Mourning Joy. Contact Della Donna at grief case dot net (all one word) (the at sign) g mail dot com

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

If you Have Something to Say, Say It

Books are the plane, and the train, and the road. They are the destination, and the journey. They are home.”
Anna Quindlen, How Reading Changed My Life

I get letters. I get stacks and stacks of letters:

Dear Linda...
How do I become a writer?
How do I write a book?

If you ask five writers how do I become a writer?, how do I write a book?, you will get five different answers.

Truth is, becoming a writer, and writing a book, is a journey. Each writer must carve their own path.

We simply roll up our sleeves, get in there and slug through it.

My suggestion:


Set a clock timer for fifteen minutes. Grab your fastest writing pen and write. Do it every day. Give yourself permission to write the worst junk in the Universe. Fill one notebook a month with anything and everything that pops into your head.


Read anything you can get your hands on, i.e., books, magazine articles, advertisements plastered on sides of buses, milk cartons, cereal boxes, commemorative postage stamps, Chinese fortune cookies, to name a few. The important thing to remember is putting words on paper requires fuel, i.e., words on paper. You wouldn't think of taking a long trip without first gassing up your car. Same thing with writing.

Writing Tip:

If you want to write a book, choose your genre. Find a book you like. Study that book. Take it apart. Figure out how that author did it.

If you want to write for magazines, same thing as above.

Attend workshops and seminars in your genre. Join a book club. Take an online writing course.

When it comes to becoming a writer, and writing a book, know this:

It is all there deep inside you. You have only to sit quiet and let it happen. Like a hot spring, it will bubble up and before you know it, it will burp out your pen.

Now go write someting.

I dare you.

See you in print,

Linda Della Donna
"...And sometime when I wasn't looking, I got a new life."

Writing Quote:

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." -- Ana├»s Nin

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Valhalla, NY - 9/11 - Circle of Remembrance


Griefcase proudly supports Tuesday's Children. They do wonderful work for children of victims of 9/11/. In memory of 9/11 victims, I'd love it if you would give a click and "Like" that facebook site.