Saturday, March 31, 2007

For Widows Only: Moving On - 2 Tips To Get You Started

By Linda Della Donna

As Fannie Lou Hamer says, "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired."

The same can be said for moaning, mourning, crying, and grieving.

After awhile being His widow becomes a burden. Only you can decide when that time is. And that's when it's time to throw up the sash to what I call your "window of illumination," the brief earth-shattering moments when you feel relieved of your grief and are able to cook clean and swim, and let the sunshine in!

Here are 2 Tips to get you started:


Raise your right hand and repeat after me: I give myself permission to live, laugh, love, smile, grin, snicker, and do all, or any, of the things I choose to do, today, tomorrow, always, for the rest of my life.

Don't stop here. Keep reading.


Admit it. You've made mistakes since His death.

So what?

So you forgot to write the check to the mortgage company last month. Or was it the month before? Did the bank sic the mortgage police on you?

So you didn't remember to change the litter in the cat box. Did Mr. Kitty join cats anonymous and write a letter of complaint?

If the answers to the above 2 questions was an emphatic No; if the roof over your head is still standing, if you didn't pass out from Mr. Kitty's stinky fumes, then you've learned life's valuable lesson,“ After the death of a spouse, life goes on Without Him. And maybe it's time to move on with the rest of your life." Only you can be the judge of that.

I know it's hard losing a spouse. What seems like an eternity of dark days, followed by a sea of lonely nights, sucks. But if you follow my 2 tips outlined above, sure as cinnamon melts in warm butter, you'll find your window of illumination opening wide, wider, widest for long, longer, longest periods of time, lighting your way to mend and heal your shattered heart. Before you know it, you will be one baby step closer to your new perfect self. The person you are meant to be.

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