Monday, April 16, 2007

Welcome Deirde Imus (Mrs. Don Imus)

"Nappy headed hos."
--Don Imus

Good Mourning Widows. Joy to you and me.
Today we welcome famous writer Deirdre Imus wife of famous comedian, famous writer, famous radio talk show host, Don Imus, to our joy-ous club.

Don Imus was born July 23, 1940. He died April 12, 2007, following public objections to a racial and gender slur he made on air, for which he later sincerely apologized for.

Don Imus along with his famous wife Deirdre Imus founded a charitable organization for children with cancer and SIDS victims.

We wish Deirdre Imus well and good luck on the publication of her new book, "Greening Your Cleaning."

Mourning Joy:

Fixing an ailment

In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's most reformed patients and questions them.
If they get the questions right they are free to leave.
This year the two lucky patients were Patty and Mike.
They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly.
They were told to wait as the doctor got their files.
The doctor came out and motioned for Patty to come in for her questioning.
When Patty came into the office, she was instructed to sit in the seat across from the doctor.
"Patty, you know the tradition of this institution so I imagine you know why you are here. You will be asked two questions, and if you get them right, you will be free to go. Do you understand all that you have been told?" said the doctor with a rather sly grin.
Patty nodded, and the doctor began to question her.
The first question was this:
"Patty, if I was to poke out one of your eyes, what would happen?"
"I would be half blind of course," Patty answered without much thought.
"What would happen if I poked out the other eye?"
"I would be completely blind," said Patty knowing that she had just gotten her freedom.
The doctor then sent her outside while he drew up the paperwork and accessed Mike's files.W
hen Patty got into the waiting room however, she told Mike what the questions would be and what the correct answers were.
The doctor calls in Mike and he followed the same procedure that he had with Patty.
"Mike, the first question is what would happen if I cut off your ear?"
"I would be blind in one eye," he said remembering what he had been told.
This received a perplexed look from the doctor but he just simply asks the other question so that he could figure out what the man was thinking.
"Mike, what would happen if I cut off your other ear?"
"I would be completely blind," he answered with a smile as if he knew he had passed.
But then the doctor asked him what his reasoning was, and he said flatly, "Me hat would fall down over me eyes."

Mourning Quote:

"There is tonic in the things that men do not love to hear; and there is damnation in the things that wicked men love to hear. Free speech is to a great people what winds are to oceans and malarial regions, which waft away the elements of disease, and bring new elements of health. And where free speech is stopped miasma is bred, and death comes fast." --Henry Ward Beecher

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