Thursday, September 27, 2007

For Widows Only - My Secret Tip for Living the "Good Life" Without Him

by Linda Della Donna

Bobbi Brown, CEO of Bobbi Brown Cosmetics, says, "Loving yourself the way you are" is what it takes to live the "Good Life." For you, dear widow, living the "Good Life" means living life without Him, and accepting who you are, now that He's gone. It means starting over, making a new beginning--Yours!

Think childhood game--the more you've got, the more you stand to lose when tossing two black dotted white plastic cubes across a cardboard gameboard. Only this time, you're teensy tin car's one space over that teensy plastic rope the color of snow. You've survived the death of your spouse and know the answer to the dreaded ugly question every married woman harbors secretly, what will I do if my husband dies? You just need encouragement to make your move.

That said, dear widow, here is my secret tip to guide you forward, as you celebrate living the "Good Life" without Him.

Simple. Think positive.

I know what you're thinking. What's with this writer? How can mourning the loss of a husband be simple ?

Well, I'm here to tell you, like all things in life, grief is what we make it.

So start today. Begin this moment. Do it now! Begin with simple things.

Get out of bed, comb your hair, brush your teeth. Get your children dressed. Slice strawberries and bananas into piping hot bowls of oatmeal — yours, too! Sit with your children. Hug them. Ask them tell you about their day. And listen! Walk your dog. Make your bed. Change the litter in the cat box. No, you don't have to iron your bed sheets, not unless you want to, and for heaven's sake, if you don't feel like dusting the living room furniture, don't! But, do look for simple ways to work at positive good.

I know the above sounds simple as sand on the beach, and to a non-widowed wife and mother, it probably is. But, if you've just buried your soul mate, your lover, your mentor, your husband, your best friend, the thought of moving forward with the rest of your life may feel like an elephant thought, and it will take time for your brain to wrap its arms around it. But if you remember my 1 secret tip outlined above, you'll be one giant baby step closer to the best of your life--The "Good Life" without Him.

I promise.

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