Today's mourning joy:
Heaven was full.
God had set new rules--Only those people who died in the most terrible way would enter Heaven.
Three men walked through the pearly gates and stood before St. Peter.
St. Peter asked First man:
"How did you die?"
First man replied:
"Well, it started at work. My business partner said my wife was having an affair with a friend of mine. So I went home. And I found my wife in bed. But, I couldn't find her lover. So, I searched the apartment. Upstairs. Downstairs. Still I couldn't find him, until I reached the balcony. And, there was her lover. He was hanging off the side of the balcony. I was so furious I decided to kill the guy.
So, I went back inside, got a hammer, went back outside, and began smashing this guy's fingers--breaking them, one by one. He fell off the balcony. But, guess what? He landed on a bush and he was still alive!
I went back inside, and ran downstairs into the kitchen. I started pushing the refrigerator out into the living room, and onto the downstairs balcony. Finally, I pushed it through the sliding doors. Then, I threw it off. The refrigerator landed on my wife's lover. He died. Only problem is I died, too. All that work throwing the refrigerator off the balcony, I suffered a massive heart attack.
That's how I died!"
St Peter said, "Okay, you can go in."
St . Peter asked second guy. "How did you die?"
Second guy said, "Well, this is kinda unbelievable, but really, I was on this roof doing my regular yoga when a big wind came along and blew me off. I fell down, but luckily, I managed to grab onto the balcony of an apartment on the third floor. I was hanging there, trying to figure out what to do next, when all of a sudden out of nowhere, this lunatic appears with this mad look on his face. Then, he goes away. But he comes back. And he's got this hammer. He starts breaking my fingers. I fell down, and landed on some bushes. But I was still alive. But did this guy stop? Noooooooo. This freakiing loonie comes back. But this time, with a refrigerator. He threw it off the balcony at me. It landed on me. And I died."
St. Peter said, "Awwww, that's awful. In you go!"
St. Peter asked third and last guy, "How did you die?
Third guy replied, "Well, picture this: I'm butt naked and inside a refrigerator."