"After awhile, the time may come when being His widow becomes a burden."
--Linda Della Donna
As Fannie Lou Hamer once said, "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired."
The same can be said for moaning, mourning, crying, and grieving.
After awhile, the time may come when being His widow becomes a burden. But only you dear widow can decide when that time is.
Because when that time does arrive, that's the time to throw up the sash to what I call your "window of illumination," those brief earth-shattering moments when you feel relieved of your grief; when you are able to get out of bed, cook, clean, swim, let the sunshine in! And smile.
Here are 2 Tips to get you started:
Raise your right hand and repeat after me: I, *state your name,* give myself permission to live, laugh, love, smile, grin, snicker, and do all, or any, of the things I choose to do, today, tomorrow, always, for the rest of my life.
Don't stop here. Keep reading.
Admit it. You've made mistakes since His death.
So what you forgot to write the check to the mortgage company last month. Or, was it the month before? Did the bank sic the mortgage police on you?
So what you didn't remember to change the litter in the cat box. Did Mr. Kitty join cats anonymous and write a letter of complaint?
So what you kissed a fool. Did the Cinderella police wisk away all your shoes?
If the answers to the above 3 questions was an emphatic No; if the roof over your head is still standing, if you didn't pass out from Mr. Kitty's stinky fumes, then you've learned life's valuable lesson: After the death of a spouse, life goes on without Him. And maybe it's time, your time, to move on with the rest of your life. Only you can be the judge of that.
I know it's hard losing a spouse. What seems like an eternity of dark days, followed by a sea of lonely nights, sucks. But if you follow my 3 tips outlined above, sure as cinnamon melts in warm butter, you'll find your window of illumination opening wide, wider, widest for long, longer, longest periods of time, lighting your way to mend and heal your shattered heart. Before you know it, you will be one baby step closer to your new perfect self. The person you are meant to be.
See you in print,
Linda Della Donna
"Come journal with me;
your book is yet to be."
Q: What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?
A: A condescending con descending.
"Do one thing every day that scares you. Do what you feel in your heart to be right--for you'll be criticized anyway." --Eleanor Roosevelt